Time Marches On
by Nvrmore
Summary: ON HIATUS - This story takes place after the defeat of Sovereign. Spoilers abound. And just because it's so fun to say - paragon:earthborn:sole survivor:adept:femShepard. Recently edited to deal with continuity issues. - ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - Not mine, just a really cool sandbox. Thank you to Bioware, Microsoft and everyone in between for a great story with excellent dialogue.

Mass Effect:

Time Marches On

"We're on approach to Ilos, Captain," Joker's familiar voice announced over Kaidan's personal comm.

"On my way, Joker," Kaidan responded and headed to the front of the Normandy. He was still getting used to his new rank, his discomfort about the new responsibility of being in charge of an entire ship exacerbated by the fact that it served to emphasized the lack of Commander Shepard's presence.

Three months had passed since the end of what people were now calling "The Battle for the Citadel." Kaidan could only shake his head every time he heard someone mention the battle by that name. It made it sound as if the war was over and the galaxy was once again safe. He knew the truth. He was one of the few who did. That had merely been a staging battle for something much worse yet to come.

The entire crew of the Normandy had been sent on forced shore leave, as if the brass knew that they would be called upon again – and soon. The long anticipated shore leave was anything but what he had expected. Three months ago, he and his commander shared whispered plans of down time – time to explore their feelings which could not be acted on during active duty due to regulations about fraternizing.

Unfortunately, despite the fact that Commander Shepard needed the down time, possibly more than anyone, she had been quickly whisked away to speak with top officials in both the military and civil sectors of government. Apparently, she'd finally proven herself enough for the Council to take her at her word and even ask her to help advise them in coming up with a contingency plan for the imminent invasion by hundreds, if not thousands, more Reapers.

Besides, even before being called back by the Council, she hadn't really gone on shore leave. Though she had been locked out of her ship, she continued her own investigation, using her Spectre ties to track down leads and find out as much as she could about Saren's original mission – the one which set him on the path that ultimately killed him.

Kaidan knew she felt a little guilty about being unable to shut down. Their few dinners together usually ended in discussions about the battle and speculation about what was to come. More than once she had stopped mid-sentence and offered up a guilt-ridden smile and an apologetic comment about her inattention to him.

It had been disappointing, but he could hardly fault her. It was hard to push everything aside and shut out the impending danger. He felt selfish trying to do so, though helpless to know what to do about it. So after only a week together, if he could really call it "together," Brennan Shepard was called back to active duty, alone of the Normandy crew, and Kaidan immersed himself in the rebuilding efforts.

He had, in fact, contacted his cousin with the agricultural business. Several small human colonies had been hit by the skirmishes that led up to The Battle and, until the Keepers could get the station back on track, even the Citadel needed supplies of food and water brought in. His cousin owned one of the many small companies pitching in to help. That was one good thing that came out of this conflict. Humans were now a much more important part of the intergalactic community. Not only were they more highly regarded as a species but, in good form, the humans stepped up and showed themselves reliable, not only as a military force to be reckoned with, but also as… well, humanitarians, with colonies across the board showing solidarity and concern for their fellow colonists and, by extension, the aliens with which they interacted.

Despite being so wrapped up in the rebuilding, Kaidan was soon itching to get back into the thick of things. He chose to stay at the Citadel, not just because it needed the most help, but also because it kept him in the "know" as scuttlebutt was exchanged between soldiers from all races. It was also the last place Shepard had been known to be. He was somewhat grateful then when, two days ago, he had been approached by a Colonel, and his silent entourage, for a top secret mission. The details were sparse, but he had been told that it was directly related to the Battle for the Citadel and his past experience with both Saren and Sovereign. The mission was highly classified and Kaidan would not be able to contact anyone from the outside once the mission was underway. He was given a day to say goodbye to family and friends that he wished to contact and, after that, the only contact he would have with the outside world would be when he went "ashore."

To his credit, Kaidan considered the offer very carefully. He really didn't have many ties outside of family. As a biotic, most humans were either afraid of him or mistrusted him, and treated him like an alien. On the other hand, most aliens, who were familiar with biotics, thought the human race was still in its infancy regarding their abilities and often spoke down to him. In all fairness, biotics had only been around for a generation, so in a way, the aliens were correct in their assessment. He hadn't been lying when he told Brennan that she made him feel human.

That brought his thoughts back to Brennan Shepard. He hadn't heard anything about her since she left, though he thought of her often. More than a small part of him hoped that, by accepting this assignment, they would be reunited. How couldn't they be? She was in the thick of everything. On the other hand, she might be so in the thick of it that he wouldn't be able to get close to her anyway.

And then there was the big picture. This really wasn't about him or his hopes for a romance that didn't seem to be able to catch a break. It was about saving the galaxy – not just the billions of human lives that inhabited it, but the trillions of other beings that they now knew shared the galaxy with them. The Reaper invasion was coming, and they would be coming with a vengeance. Never before had the "cycle of extinction" been interrupted, and he couldn't help but think that the Reapers would not take kindly to this. Then again, not knowing what their motivation was for this cycle, no one could really be sure how they would react or even how this little hiccup would effect them in the long run.

So really, what choice did he have? How could he possibly turn down an assignment like this? His sense of honor and justice and the call of something bigger than himself made his decision inevitable. He accepted. He vid-mailed his father to speak brief, parting words and then reported to his ship.

He had been pleasantly surprised to find that it was the Normandy docked and in the process of being prepped to cast off, though it really only made sense. She was a small, fast vessel and the only Alliance ship with cloaking capabilities – something that would undoubtedly come in handy on a black-ops assignment. It also reinforced the notion that humans had taken great strides in bringing themselves to the forefront of the galactic community.

When he stepped on board, the place he had most recently thought of as home, he was further warmed by the sight of familiar faces. Apparently, he was not the only one from the original crew who had been extended the invitation to complete what they had started. Joker was sitting comfortably at the helm, and he saw several others from the flight crew that he knew.

There were, of course, new faces and several more aliens than the original crew contained. Kaidan wondered vaguely at what it had taken to get the Alliance to comply with not only placing one of its ships under Citadel command, which most likely meant a Spectre would be on board running the mission, but also allowing some of the crew to be replaced by alien races. Kaidan never had a problem with aliens, and he could certainly understand their desire to have their own people involved. After all, they had just as much at stake and any human.

Then there was the lack of familiar faces. He had taken a quick tour of the ship to see if he could find some of his comrades in their usual stations, but he found none of the original alien crew – Liara, Tali, Wrex, nor Garrus. Then, just before departure, as Kaidan made his way from engineering to the supply area, he heard a familiar voice near the Mako.

"So, I see they wrangled you back in – Captain, is it now?"

Kaidan turned, nodded, and smiled, "Garrus." He shook the Turian's hand. "Good to see you. But, if you don't mind my asking… What are you doing here?"

"You weren't the only one to get a promotion. I'm a Spectre now."

The two men started walking toward the elevator that would take them to navigation. Kaidan was sure that if Garrus had lips, he would be smiling. Kaidan chuckled, "Well, I'll be. Congratulations. Are you the one heading this little group?"

"No, I'm not. My understanding is that when we reach our port-of-call, we will be picking up the lead."

"Any idea who it is?"

"None. It's all very hush-hush, even for me."

"Huh. How did you become a Spectre, anyway? I thought once you were passed over for the job…"

"I wasn't passed over," Garrus said shortly. "I turned down the training opportunity." The Turian shifted his weight, a sign he was uncomfortable with the topic. "However, when one is personally recommended by a highly regarded Spectre, the Council tends to re-examine the possibility of appointment."

"Ah. Commander Shepard?" Kaidan asked, with a twinge of jealousy. Not that Garrus had been made a Spectre (that was responsibility and trouble he didn't want), but rather that she had actively thought about and been a force of change in Garrus' life.

Garrus nodded.

"Do you know… where she is?"

"No. I didn't even get a chance to thank her. In fact, I didn't even know she had put my name forward until the induction ceremony."

Kaidan let out a frustrated breath and glanced at the galaxy map as he and Garrus passed it. He could clearly see, in his minds eye, the Commander pouring over the map to determine their next location. "What about the others? Liara? Tali? Wrex?"

Garrus shook his head again. "Last I heard, Wrex was chasing some bounty or other and Tali returned to the Flotilla."

"Huh. Someone must be paying Wrex well to keep him from returning to the merc scene."

"It's all being kept quiet though." Garrus chuckled with his deep, rich voice. "I can tell you that even the Shadow broker is frustrated by the level of secrecy – or at least some of his usual information gatherers are. I'm not sure if he takes it as a personal front or a challenge, but the feelers are out in full looking for any information at all on Normandy crew members and our infamous Commander." The two stopped walking and took up positions behind Joker.

"Interesting," Kaidan said quietly, more to himself than to Garrus. He stood staring at the floor, contemplating all he had just heard and wondering what it meant. Looking back up at Garrus, he asked, "What about Liara?"

"She's back to doing field research, as far as I know."

"'Field research' my ass," Joker interjected. He could feel the twin gazes on the back of his head as he continued. "I mean, come on. You don't really think the top expert on all things Prothean isn't going to be part of the team trying to figure out everything we can about the Reapers before their next attack?"

"He's got a point," Garrus gestured toward Joker, while commenting to Kaidan.

"Yeah." Kaidan stood in silent contemplation for a minute.

Joker's voice shook Kaidan from his reverie. "Making our final decent, Comman-aah-I mean, Captain."

Kaidan nodded, despite the fact that Joker couldn't see him. "Proceed."

The Normandy landed at a small shipping dock that was unusually busy for the set-up. It was not equipped for heavy traffic and, in fact, two cargo vessels were resting on flat areas of land rather than actual landing pads. Kaidan took in the hustle and bustle as cargo was unloaded from the freighters and re-loaded onto an obviously newly constructed tram. While some of the containers carried standard fare for a new colony, others were labeled "top secret" – something that always made Kaidan laugh – while others were without markings, giving no hint of the content.

The Normandy had carried a load of unusual containers as well, and Kaidan was part of the armed guard assigned to deliver the cargo to its final stop at the research facility, leaving the new Navigator in charge of the ship while he was on land. Once they arrived, he helped unload the delivery. As he was moving a box from the tram to a pallet that would be carried by front-loader into the facility itself, he heard the one voice that could make his heart stop, or start racing or, impossibly, both at the same time.

"No! I've already told you," Brennan Shepard said forcefully. "That gets taken to the storehouse. We're not ready for it at this facility."

She was exactly as he remembered her. Her dark hair was up in a tight, stern-looking bun, a perfect match to the nearly perpetual frown that creased her brow. Though she wore that expression often, Kaidan had become familiar with nuances of the expression. When she was staring down her gun at some threat to the Alliance or galactic community, the frown meant business. There was no veiled threat of violence, but a promise if the enemy would not yield. At other times, the frown was one of compassion as she empathized with the plight of the downtrodden. She also wore the expression when she was concentrating or strategizing the next move of the mission. Kaidan had come to realize it was a mask of sorts. It was the face she put forward to the galaxy while she carried the weight of its fate on her shoulders.

It was her eyes that changed depending on her mood, that glowed with warmth or turned cold as ice. And it was her eyes that Kaidan tried to read as she turned away from the lance-corporal she had been addressing and scanned the latest tram delivery. Then, to Kaidan's heart-stopping, stomach-flipping delight, those eyes locked onto his and immediately lit up, nearly glowing green catching the light of the sun. The corners of her mouth turned up in the warmest and, in Kaidan's opinion, most beautiful smile she'd offered anyone in months – not that he knew that, though.

Brennan made her way toward him, her eyes still locked with his, and it wasn't until she was standing three feet in front of him that he realized he had frozen at the sight of her, box in hand.

She glanced at the box and smirked, "Alenko."

"Commander," Kaidan replied without thinking.

Brennan looked down at the ground and chuckled softly to herself. "Not any more," she said quietly, looking back up at Kaidan.

"Ma'am?"

She gazed into his eyes for a moment as if searching for something, her expression unreadable. When she finally spoke, all she said was, "So formal," though it seemed to Kaidan that she meant it as a question.

"No, I… we…" Kaidan stammered over his words. As much as he had hoped to see Shepard again, he was still stunned to find her standing just feet in front of him, her attention focused solely on him. "No uniform?" He berated himself mentally for the stupidity of the question. Of all the things he wanted to say to her at their reunion, asking her about her regulation attire, or lack thereof, was not one of them.

"As I said, I'm no longer a commander," she explained gently, her smile still in place.

Again, a thousand thoughts raced through Kaidan's head at this revelation, not the least of which being that their relationship would no longer be against regulation – unless she had been promoted; but his mind was working well enough to assume that, if she wasn't in uniform, then she had most likely not been promoted. Yet, the only intelligible thing his mouth managed was, "Why?"

Brennan chuckled again. She was obviously amused at the difficulty Kaidan seemed to be having at the moment. She relieved him of the box he was still holding onto and placed it in the arms of a marine who happened by at that moment. "Come. I'll be briefing everyone together."

She turned fluidly away from him and walked to the nearby facility, trusting him to follow. It took Kaidan a second to start moving, during which time his mind was once again yelling at him for acting like a foolish schoolboy with a crush. He had to jog the first few steps to catch up with her and, when he did, he asked, "Everyone?"

Brennan glanced behind her, a knowing smile on her face. "Mm-hmm."

The facility into which they entered, was as busy on the inside as the docking bay had been, only it was a much smaller, enclosed area. Every few feet, Kaidan had to dodge someone moving across his path. The amount of activity and close proximity was almost nauseating. But then, Kaidan had never been good in crowds.

The two made several turns down various corridors until Kaidan was sure he was lost and would be unable to find his way out again. The only thing he did know was that they were gradually going deeper underground. They had walked down several small ramps, but had never gone back up any. As they walked, the crowds thinned and the activity died down, or perhaps intensified, depending on how you looked at it. He saw several labs off to the sides of the corridors through which they traveled. There were but a few scientists in each lab, but they were all so deeply involved in the work they were doing that they did not even glance up at the passing couple.

Shepard made one final turn and entered yet another corridor. Kaidan noticed that there were thick blast doors at the entrance of this hallway. He also noticed panels on the walls – the kind that hid small turrets in case of invasion. There were motion detectors and probably cameras and scanners every ten feet or so. The place screamed "security" and "secrecy." Kaidan had, on only one other occasion, been privy to the kind of security clearance it normally took to enter a lab like this one and he couldn't help but be slightly awed, albeit, also more than a little nervous.

The entrance to the only room in this corridor was eerily unguarded. Furthermore, there was no keypad or card reader to allow access to the room beyond.

Kaidan glanced at Brennan as she said in her clear, commanding voice, "Shepard, Brennan – Spectre. Alenko, Kaidan – Captain."

To his surprise, the door did not slide open to allow them access. Rather, it seemed to shimmer for a moment and then vanish. Brennan stepped through the doorway so, naturally, Kaidan followed suit. As he did, he realized his first assumption was not accurate. The door hadn't disappeared or, more accurately, ceased to exist. Rather, he felt himself step through some kind of force field. Cold sliced through him from front to back as he passed through. It was so fast, he couldn't really say it was painful, but he shivered involuntarily and couldn't help but glance back at the offending barrier, which surprised him by appearing to, once again, be a solid door.

He felt an arm reach past him and watch Shepard knock on the now-solid door. He turned to look her in the face and found she was standing within two inches of him, sending a shiver of a completely different kind through him.

"You get used to it," she said assuredly, her eyes emanating concern and, perhaps, a hint of amusement that she wouldn't otherwise express.

"Yes ma'am," he replied, instantly regretting the formality and then further regretting it when he heard Brennan let out a slight, frustrated breath. She turned to face the rest of the room.

It was at this time that Kaidan finally looked around as well. He immediately felt as if he was home as he looked at the faces of the comrades he had come to know and care about over the months of that final mission.

Garrus, who had somehow beaten him to this location, nodded a greeting. "I see you finally made it."

"Yeah, but I'm going to need a map to get back out again," he replied casually.

"I… think that would defeat the purpose of this facility, Captain," Liara replied hesitantly.

"He was joking," Shepard responded to Liara's voiced concern.

"Oh." Liara shook her head slightly. "I still have trouble with human humor."

"You're not the only one," Tali commented. "Good to see you, Kaidan."

Kaidan and Tali joined in a friendly embrace. Over their time spent on the Normandy, they had built a solid friendship. Both were usually treated by outsiders with mistrust, and both had a fondness for technology and tinkering.

"Good to see you too, though… I'm a bit surprised," Kaidan admitted.

Tali was about to respond when new voices were heard coming from the passage beyond the doorway.

"I kid you not, you're never driving me anywhere again. I am a pilot, damnit. I shouldn't be subjected to someone else's navigation skills – or lack there of," came Joker's cutting voice.

"It's not my fault you move slower than a Volusian slug in this chair. You were in my way. Figured I'd move you along," came Wrex's response.

"I'm quite capable of handling my own wheels. Thank you very much," Joker replied indignantly as the door shimmered to allow them entrance. This was followed quickly by, "Ahhh! What the hell was that?" Joker craned his neck to look behind him. Wrex, who was maneuvering Joker's temporary mode of transportation had been jolted by the sensors in the door and gave the wheelchair a violent shudder. Joker gripped the handles of the chair tightly as he said, "Watch it you big, dumbass!"

"Hey, kid! If you don't shut that mouth of yours, I'm going to shut it for you," Wrex's threatened. "I will fold you in half and wrap your legs around your head… And considering your condition, that won't even be a challenge!"

"Hey! No picking on the cripple," Joker retorted. "Besides, you're not going to do anything to me. You do and the ship goes nowhere, 'cause you certainly ain't gonna fly her. You can't even navigate a straight line down a hallway. Honestly. Not to mention you'd never fit in the chair with that big hump of yours?"

Wrex was about to parry when Shepard interrupted, "Enough!" Both men went silent at once. It was a testimony to the kind of person Shepard was that the Krogan respected her enough to maintain his silence. He had pulled a gun on her once and she had not only _not_ backed down, but had then holstered her own weapon in a show of confidence that he would not hurt her. Of course, Wrex was also very much aware that, with her biotic abilities, she hardly needed a weapon anymore. Her abilities had grown tenfold, whether that was from testing in battle, practice, or those training sessions she, Kaidan, and Liara participated in, Wrex wasn't sure.

"I think we're all here," Shepard said, surveying the room. She allowed herself to smile at everyone present. It wasn't a teeth-flashing smile, but it was genuine and warm. She had never known her own family. Her parents had abandoned her back on Earth and left her to fend for herself. She tried to fill that void over the years, at one point going so far as to join a gang. Then she joined the Alliance and that became her family. She bonded quickly with her unit on Akuze, only to have them all wiped out – well, all but one, though, in a way, even he died on Akuze, it just took some time for his body to follow his soul. She hadn't thought she'd find family again, but here she was, and here they were. In an unusually quiet voice, Brennan said, "I'm… glad you have all come." She sat down on the chair opposite the door. Though the seats were in a circle, this was obviously the head of the table. Everyone else followed suit, arranging themselves much as they had on the Normandy. The only change was that Ash's seat was moved out of the way and her place was taken by Joker.

Shepard cleared her throat. "As you know, you have each received a personal invitation to be a part of this project."

Kaidan shifted in his seat slightly. The term "project" instead of "mission" emphasized Brennan's lack of uniform and rank.

"What you do not know is the role you each play," Shepard continued. "I… will not be sharing details with you for security reasons, but I will brief you on the over-all plan." She paused to gather her thoughts, wondering where to begin. "As you know, the defeat of Sovereign was not just a single battle, nor was it the end of a war. Rather, it… is a promise of things to come."

"Only with much more death and destruction," Joker interjected.

"Yes," Shepard confirmed, taking the interruption in stride. "There is so much to do – so much to prepare for," she said, staring at the floor, briefly lost in thought and overwhelmed by all of the obstacles they had yet to overcome, many of which she was sure they weren't yet aware. Raising her eyes back to the group she trusted with her life, she continued. "Tali will be returning to the Flotilla. She will act as an emissary between the Quarians and the BOC."

"Uh… The BOC?" Kaidan interrupted this time.

"Bio-Organics Coalition."

"Oh."

Shepard smirked. "Between you and me," she said conspiratorially, "It's also a reference to a twentieth century music group – The Blue Oyster Cult. They performed a song titled 'Don't Fear the Reaper.'"

"And this is why people get paid to come up with committee names," Joker snarked.

"Indeed," Shepard nodded in agreement. "We are gathering the top minds from all the races into a think-tank…"

"Much like the Protheans did on this very planet 50,000 years ago," Liara's gentle voice cut in. She sounded in awe of the idea.

"Yes. And Liara will be heading the team." Liara ducked her head and blushed, turning her cheeks midnight blue. "She… You are our resident expert on the Protheans. Your expertise will come in handy. You will also be heading this facility – at least the scientific side of it – and will therefore be free of unwelcome explosions."

Liara blushed again as she realized Shepard had been listening to her conversation with Tali about her usual studies consisting of more research and fewer explosions.

"But this brings me back to Tali. Tali will be heading up the technical side. Due to your mission experience, you are also probably most familiar with the technology that we have thus far encountered. As many parts of Sovereign as could possibly be recovered have been brought to a sister facility on this planet. Your primary goal is to find a way through the technology – both by force and by programming."

"You mean like a virus," Tali clarified.

"They are still AIs. But this also includes finding a way to stop or block the indoctrination signal. You will each have a team of experts at your disposal." Shifting her attention, Shepard said, with a nod, "Wrex."

"Shepard," the Krogan responded.

"You will be my eyes and ears with the… less than reputable element. You have seen the things we encountered and have a good idea of what to look for. I also have a… special assignment for you." Shepard waited until she had Wrex's complete attention. "I… pissed off the Shadow broker when I refused to share the Cerberus research."

"And you need me to make contact for you."

"Yes."

"What are you looking for?"

Shepard glanced for the briefest second at Kaidan. "I need to gain an ally in the Terminus Systems?"

"What?!" The outcry came from every seat in the room, except Wrex.

"Commander…" Kaidan started to protest.

"We don't know how far this thing spreads," Shepard interrupted. She was not yelling, but her tone left no room for argument or interruption. "I seriously doubt that the Reapers will confine themselves to the Council's territory. We don't even know if they are confined to the Milky Way. Hell, you want to really boggle the mind, we don't even know if they're confined to this dimension or universe. We simply don't know enough about them or dark space. And I figure the more allies we have the better. The Terminus Systems is in at least as much danger as we are and I will not turn a blind eye to that."

The room had fallen silent. It was true – what they actually knew about the Reapers was roughly equivalent to taking an eyedropper full of ocean water and squeezing it onto an open palm. What remained in hand were the facts they could count on.

In a much quieter voice, one that spoke of weariness and desperation, Shepard said, "We don't even know if the Citadel is the only portal."

After a brief pause, Kaidan, his own voice full of apprehension, said, "That's a suicide mission, Commander."

Shepard once again locked eyes with him, the intensity of her gaze pressing on him with near physical force. To his surprise, she smirked, "So is dropping a Mako into a twenty yard LZ at too deep a decent angle and speeds that should have torn the hull apart. But we managed to walk away from that, and all I had to show for it were a few broken ribs and some bruised organs."

"Uh, with all due respect, Commander," Joker broke in again, sounding offended. "That was not due to the drop, but rather to your deciding it would be a good idea to look out the window while chunks of debris from an alien AI fell from the sky at your window… piercing through several floors of the Citadel Tower, I might add."

Finally lifting her gaze from Kaidan, she smiled at Joker. "Point taken, Joker. Though I'm pretty sure I lost consciousness for a few seconds."

"That's what the helmet's for, Commander," Joker quipped.

Shepard smiled and shook her head while looking at the floor. "By the way, let me make it official. I have resigned my position as a commander in the Alliance Fleet." There was another outbreak of questions to this announcement. "I will still be at the disposal of the Alliance, as per an agreement with Cap-… er… Councilman Anderson. However, I have decided it was not… prudent, or efficient, of me to split my loyalties between the Council, as a Spectre, and the Alliance, as a commander, regardless of the fact that humans now have a seat on the council. And this is where you come in." Here, she nodded at Kaidan and Joker. "I have basically used my rank as Spectre to commandeer the Normandy and her crew. I'm going to be doing a lot of my own tracking…"

Joker spoke up again. "And then there's the vacation into the Terminus Systems you're so keen on taking. A stealth drive will come in handy there. Mom always said to wear sunscreen when going to the beach."

"Does your mouth come with a stealth drive, kid?" Wrex cut in.

Kaidan interrupted before another argument could begin. "You said you wanted to spend time doing your own tracking?"

Shepard shifted her attention back to Kaidan. "Yes," she nodded. "I want to retrace Saren's steps. See if I come up with anything."

"How are you going to do that? His files are all classified," Garrus questioned.

"The Council has made Saren an open case. I've been granted access to all his personal files. The official files are… edited, but hopefully still useful. Garrus, you are going to be my liaison with the Citadel."

Garrus interrupted at this point. "Commander, I am not much suited to the role of politician…"

Shepard held up her hand, halting his protests. "You will maintain your role as Spectre. And I will have immediate need of you. I want you to help me go through the files and interpret them. I need to know exactly when Saren first became aware of Sovereign and the Reapers. What was he doing? Who or what had he encountered? How did he know about the Conduit and beacon in the first place? However, I will not be returning to the Citadel often, and I will need eyes and ears there. You already have contacts established. We're going to need them." Shepard paused, waiting for Garrus to nod his understanding. Despite any hesitancy he felt about his role, he complied.

Once again addressing Wrex, she said, "Wrex," and waited for the customary response.

"Shepard."

"I need to know that you are very clear about the classified nature of everything that has been said here." Wrex grunted, which Shepard assumed meant "yes." "I will need to clear any information you share with the Shadow broker."

"Wait. You're sharing information with the Shadow Broker? Doesn't that go against the 'classified' status of the mission?" Kaidan asked.

"The Shadow broker works on a barter system. A certain amount of 'give' is needed to receive. We will be in control of all information leaked to him," Shepard answered, this time watching Wrex for his reaction.

"And you're trusting a merc to not sell you out?" Kaidan questioned.

"Hey!" Wrex retorted. "I'm loyal to my clients."

"But what if you get a better offer?" It was Garrus that spoke up this time.

"He won't," Shepard answered confidently, if somewhat challengingly, effectively putting an end to further discussion on the matter. She had already spoken to Wrex about his payment and was sure of his loyalty. Not only could she pay him substantially with credits, but she had promised a team of scientist solely dedicated to examining anything that remained from Virmire and, barring no results from that, they would continue to search for a cure for the Krogan sterility.

For his part, Wrex didn't have much faith that the scientists would be able to help, but he knew that Shepard had stuck her neck out to get the Council to agree to such a thing. He still wasn't sure exactly how she'd managed it. But that was good enough to ensure his loyalty – for now, anyway.

"Commander – er, Shepard?" Liara's gentle voice interrupted the lull in the conversation.

"Yes, Liara?"

"What about Ilos? I mean, if the Reapers do come, won't Ilos be one of the first places they attack?"

Shepard's frown was back in place and her eyes darkened slightly. "We are going to follow in the footsteps of our forerunners. Ilos will be a dark planet." Brennan heard mutterings at the implications of this statement. This meant the people that were here currently, on the surface of the planet, would most likely not be leaving until they had successfully found a way to defeat the coming fleet. And it was a very real possibility that this would never occur. It also meant that the Normandy and her crew might very well be isolated from everyone as well. Sure, they would be able to land at various spaceports. But until the mission was complete, there would be no, or extremely limited – and censored – contact with people from their past. "Once every few months, we will make berth here, but there will be no contact or communications with anyone outside of the Normandy and her crew. Generators have been brought in and scientists are working on getting Vigil up and running as we speak. The soldiers who have made deliveries here are now stationed here. Civilian colonists have been brought in to make the colony self-sufficient and aid in terraforming Ilos. And of course, the scientists are here to stay. Any new information or artifacts that are found will be brought here.

"The only exception to the effort is the group working on the Citadel. They are looking for a way to ensure that the portal is permanently closed. They are also working with Chorban and Jahleed to learn about the Keepers. All of their files and research will be shipped here to aid in the efforts. As well, a new push has been made to understand the mass relays and figure out exactly how they work.

"Get comfy, people. This is your new home. Any questions?"

Most of the occupants in the room were too stunned to think of questions.

"Very well," Shepard let out a small sigh as she stood. She knew she had just dropped a bomb and couldn't help but feel guilty. Even Joker hadn't been able to come up with a smartass comment. "Dismissed. Liara, please show everyone to their quarters."

"Of course," Liara complied easily.

Shepard turned her back to the room and, ducking her head slightly and closing her eyes, she pinched the bridge of her nose. The Cipher was still working a number on her head, even after all this time. Most of the time, it was a manageable ache, but every once in a while, the pain spiked. This was usually followed by a flash of information as her subconscious continued to try to decipher and organize the images she'd received from the beacon. Some part of her said this was important. A nagging thought about a connection between the signals stored in a beacon being translated into thought and images and the signal used by Sovereign to indoctrinate its slaves. But the thought was too vague and disconnected to make sense – like everything else she'd gotten from the beacons. She sighed again in frustration before sensing she wasn't alone.

As if the thought of the presence brought it physical substance, she felt a hand on her shoulder and the tickle of breath on the back of her exposed neck. Knowing without looking who was standing behind her, she dropped her hand and leaned back, fully confident that Kaidan would be there to support her where she stood.

And he was. Kaidan had watched her carefully through the meeting. She was still shouldering the weight of the world – or worlds – and it was starting to take its toll. Thanks to his bungling brain, he had not greeted her as he intended, so when the meeting was over, he decided to take the opportunity to correct his mistake.

She seemed initially unaware of his presence. He knew well the signs of a headache, having suffered for much of his life with migraines, and he did not want to make noise to get her attention. Instead, he reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. He had been temporarily surprised when she leaned into him, but relieved also. The simple, silent action confirmed that her feelings for him were the same as they had been those long months ago on the Normandy. And now, there were no longer any regulations on fraternization standing between them. So when she leaned back, he smiled, and let his hand slide down her arm and around her waist; his other hand joining the first and completing a circle of support and comfort.

"Mmm," she groaned softly, and Kaidan could tell she was smiling. "I've missed you," she whispered.

Kaidan let out a small laugh, "I've missed you, too. We didn't exactly get that shore leave we were both looking forward to." He felt her tense in his arms and she straightened up, making it necessary for him to let her go. He had not intended to upset her, and the thought flitted through his head that Joker wasn't the only one who needed a better filter on his mouth. But instead of walking away, Brennan turned to face him, wrapping her own arms around his waist, and waiting to speak until he did the same.

"I am sorry about that. I… just…"

Kaidan leaned his forehead down to touch hers. She was looking at some spot on his chest, avoiding eye contact, which he found somewhat amusing. The strong, confident commander was actually insecure about something, and he loved that about her. Interrupting her train of thought, he replied, "I didn't say that to make you feel bad. I simply meant I'm glad to be here now."

Brennan finally looked him in the eyes, her uncertainty melting into a smile.

"How are you holding up?" Kaidan asked.

"Isn't that supposed to be my line?" Brennan lightly quipped back.

Kaidan shrugged. "I think it's time someone asked you that for a change."

She let out a chuckle that turned into a sigh. She did step away from him this time. It was too hard to keep the dam holding while wrapped in the safety of the arms of the man she loved. "Fine," she answered. "Busy, but fine."

It was Kaidan's turn to stare her down, the intensity of his own gaze boring into her, trying to read her soul and the truth of her words. "No you're not. You can't be. You've been carrying the fate of the galaxy for the better part of a year now. It's bound to wear on anyone."

Brennan stood defiant and tall, sheer force of will keeping her from breaking. Taking a deep breath, she replied, "It's easier not to think of it in those terms."

Kaidan nodded, but pressed on, gently. "How's your head?"

Brennan broke eye contact and allowed herself another smile. She could count on one hand the number of people who had taken the time to learn to read her so thoroughly. Deciding for honesty, and a little weakness, she answered, "Good most days. Other days it feels like I've been run over by a tram."

"And right now?"

"Right now… I can see the tram coming."

"I'd lead you back to your quarters," Kaidan chuckled, "but I have no idea where they are."

"Well, we can't have that," Brennan said with a coy smile. She linked her arm with his and the two began walking. She wondered if Kaidan realized how much simply walking with him as a companion rather than a superior officer meant to her. It was also uncomfortable, as it meant she was exposing part of herself for the world to see, but she was trying to take Councilman Anderson's advice. He had warned her she would not be able to handle this on her own and would need support. Apparently, hers and Kaidan's tryst had not been kept as secret as she had hoped, but she had been surprised when the Captain was both supportive and amused. She had begun to think of him as a father figure of sorts and, therefore, took his advice to heart.

Kaidan was also pleasantly surprised by the outward, and very public, display of affection on Shepard's part, and he wasn't going to complain. They chatted easily on the way to the crews' quarters and he watched, out of the corner of his eye, the reactions of the people they came across. It seemed everyone was interested in this glimpse into Shepard's personal life. Even small communities needed something to gossip about.

The only down side of their walk was that he was so interested in their chat and the reactions of those around them, that he hadn't paid attention to where they were going and would never find his way back to the conference room. He made a mental note to make sure he explored the place on his own, when he could concentrate.

When they reached the living quarters wing of the facility, Shepard unhooked her arm from Kaidan's. It wasn't out of a desire to hide their relationship, but rather, it freed her to check on the new arrivals and make sure everyone was getting settled in okay. They would be staying at the facility for a week, ensuring that all questions were answered and a more detailed briefing could be had with each individual before setting out on the next leg of their journey.

She reached a closed door and placed her palm on the reader to gain access to the room. "This," she said turning to Kaidan, "is your quarters."

"Mm-hmm," he nodded and scanned the room quickly without stepping inside. "And where are yours?" he grinned mischievously.

Brennan smiled back and Kaidan was sure she actually blushed. She pushed off of the door frame on which she had been leaning and led him to another closed door, which she palmed open.

As he stepped inside, Kaidan was initially surprised as there was no indication whatsoever that these quarters belonged to a superior. It looked identical to all of the other quarters he'd glimpsed, just more lived in which was only evidenced by the stack of discs on the desk and a sidearm that was placed with near reverence on a stand on an end table. Kaidan recognized it at once as Ash's.

Kaidan fingered the pistol lightly, recalling that Ash had opted for her assault rifle and sniper rifle for the battle that day. "You know, we're all still behind you." He glanced over his shoulder at Brennan who was staring sadly at the pistol.

"Yeah – to the death," Brennan said, uncharacteristically morose.

Kaidan turned to face Brennan fully. He took her by the arms, maneuvering her so she was facing him as well. "To the death," he confirmed. "Though I'm hoping for a lot more of the living," he said with a gentle smile. "You're giving us a real fighting chance." Brennan's expression didn't change, and Kaidan wondered if she had yet allowed herself opportunity to grieve the loss of her friend. He sighed, "She knew what she signed up for. You're the one who told me marines die. It's part of the job."

Brennan's eyes narrowed and flashed with anger, "Yeah well, I'm supposed to tell you that. You didn't choose to let her go. Alone."

"She knew what she was getting into. She even volunteered for it. With all the lives you saved since then, isn't that enough?"

"You know the scales don't work that way. You can't balance a life for a life."

"No. You're right. But I'm sure Ash is looking down on you, standing right next to her father, and smiling."

Brennan knew Kaidan had chosen his words carefully. The three had talked theology on more than one occasion and he knew as well as she did of Ash's belief in God and heaven. The fondness of the memory brought a small smile to her face, but it was impossible to separate the friendship from the pain and a silent tear slipped down her cheek as well.

Kaidan stepped forward and took her face in his hands, surreptitiously wiping the tear from her face with his thumb. "You know I'm right."

Brennan nodded. She stepped closer to Kaidan, resting her head on his shoulder and allowing him to wrap his arms around her. "Yeah."

They stood that way for a moment before one of them shifted. Brennan lifter her head and turned so their faces were mere millimeters apart. The gap started to close, seemingly in slow motion, when a knock at the door caused them to jump and break apart.

Brennan cleared her throat, "Enter."

Joker opened the door and had the decency to look slightly uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, Commander, but one of the Salarian scientists is searching for you and is nearly hyperventilating."

Brennan shook her head, "It's not 'Commander' anymore, Joker."

"Yeah well, my real name's not Joker, but that's what everyone calls me. I'm sorry, but you'll always be 'Commander' to me."

Brennan chuckled. Looking back at Kaidan, she said, "Duty calls."

Kaidan and Joker watched her leave. Without looking at Joker, Kaidan said, "Your timing sucks, Joker."

"I'm just helping build the anticipation."

"I have been waiting for three months. Too much more anticipation and I might explode," Kaidan said with more that a hint of frustration.

Joker laughed and nearly toppled as he leaned on his crutches. "Just doing my part for the war effort."

"You're a sick, sick man, Joker."

"Yes. Yes, I am. But hey, at least you don't have to wait for another mutiny to get into the Commander's pants."

"I think I might just pay Wrex to follow through on that threat to turn you into a pretzel."

The two men walked from Shepard's room, sniping amicably at each other. The joking continued, despite the gravity of their situation. The fighting continued, despite the loss of a close comrade. The mission continued, despite the destruction of Sovereign and the winning of one battle. Time continued on, despite the desire to stay in a moment, and no one knew where the journey would end for them.

- - - - -

A/N - This is intended to be a oneshot - for now. Unfortunately, I have a war to write in another 'verse, but perhaps when that one is finished, I will revisit this one (part of that will depend on response). On the other hand, it's all speculation until the next gamecomes out and I could be way off the mark on how they're going to handle what comes next. Thanks to all who read and review.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer - Usual. I only own a copy of the game, but it was wonderfully inspiring. Thank you Microsoft and Bioware and everyone in between.

Chapter 2

_"Hey LC, what can we expect down there?"_

_Lieutenant Commander Shepard glanced at Private Wash. "You were given the rundown, Private, along with everyone else… unless you were sleeping again," she said, with no real heat behind her words._

_"It's the Commander's dulcet tones. They get me every time. I think he has the power to hypnotize," Private Wash retorted._

_"If he had that power, we wouldn't keep getting crap assignments like this one," Corporal Saitama cut in with his opinion of this op._

_Shepard did not correct what some would consider inappropriate chatter, knowing that it was her soldiers' way of letting off steam. She'd let the Commander be the whip in the unit. This mission wasn't supposed to be particularly dangerous, but there were quite a few unknown factors. "A small research team was dropped here about a month back. They've lost contact and we're being dropped in to find out what happened and assure their safety."_

_"Eggheads probably wandered too far from camp and got lost," another Private from the squad commented._

_"Twenty creds says one of 'em unplugged the radio and forgot to plug it back in," Corporal Toombs said with a chuckle._

_"Yeah, they're probably so wrapped up in their research they didn't notice," offered Private Embu. There was another round of chuckling in the drop bay._

_Shepard noticed a green light appear on one of the panels. This was quickly followed by the entrance of Staff Commander Petrov. "Cut the chatter," he commanded in a sharp voice. "Prepare to drop."_

_Over the speaker, the pilot's voice said, "Approaching drop zone in t minus 30."_

_Shepard closed her eyes and breathed deeply in preparation._

_- - - - -_

_She opened her eyes, excitement and anticipation filling her with giddy energy. Today was the day that her Ma ma was going to start teaching her to create beautiful words. That was her job. She was a keeper of knowledge, and it was her job to make sure their knowledge was passed down from one generation to the next with painstaking precision and beauty. Ba ba was on one of the orbiting starflyers. He was a guardian and often had to leave the planet, though she was never quite sure why. Her people had not seen war in several cycles. It seemed a silly job to her, but people treated her Ba ba with great honor, so it must be important._

_She tried to be patient while performing the menial chores of the morning, but her patience was growing thin as the sun rose in the sky and Ma ma still had not pulled out her writing tools. _

_But at last the time came. Ai Nyu watched as her mother settled into her chair, allowing her root-like phalanges to dig deep into the ground, tapping into the energy of the planet to both feed her and provide her with inspiration. She waved her face tendrils to her daughter, calling her to the chair positioned directly alongside her, while she pressed a few lights with her long, graceful fingers. Her virtual worktable opened up in front of her, allowing every stroke written to be saved to disc immediately, or wiped away as she saw fit._

_Ai Nyu imitated the action of sitting and centering herself, digging her own long toes into the earth. She felt one of her mother's toes seek hers and wrap comfortingly around it in the dirt. _

_To say that the Protheans were telepathic would not be an accurate description. The physical contact with her mother was not done to share thoughts, but to guide energies. The entire race was what would later be called "adept," though they were far more advanced than even the race of Asari that would come thousands of years later. They were attuned to energy fields, and could manipulate them to their will. This included the energy of their species, allowing for communication of feeling and guiding of mood, but this kind of interaction was saved only for those intimate with each other. _

_Ai Nyu knew that this centering was part of the ritual of writing and allowed her mood to bend to her Ma ma's leading. The two sat in silence, bodies waving slightly as the earth-energy flowed through them, their tentacles floating swimmingly on the air, not unlike the branches of a willow, blowing delicately in a breeze. Eventually Ai Nyu felt her mother shift, and so glanced over at her. Her mothers' fingers began to work over the surface of her desk. She repeated the same motion several times and Ai Nyu knew she was to repeat the motion. They did this a seemingly endless amount of times, her mother occasionally correcting how she held her stylus, or soothing her frustrated energy, allowing her to refocus on perfecting this first stroke. _

_Abruptly, her mother stopped and sat still again, closing her eyes and re-centering the two of them._

_- - - - -_

_Shepard opened her eyes and did a quick visual check of her squad. Everyone had their helmets on and the indicator lights showed that all suits were sealed against the caustic Akuze atmosphere. While it was possible to survive short stints without the seal, it was not recommended to try and do so. There was some contaminant in the air that, apparently, when inhaled for too long caused a person to drown in his own mucus. That was all she needed to know. _

_The squad stood in two rows, holding on to the lead wires that ran the length of the drop bay. Shepard felt her stomach drop in the familiar feeling of manufactured pressure and gravity exchanging with real pressure and gravity before the door of the bay slid open. Two at a time, her squad dropped the three feet from the bay to the solid Akuze soil; all the while, the drop-ship continued moving._

_Her first thought when they landed was that something wasn't right. It wasn't anything she could pinpoint, just a feeling. The ground was flat and, though they were on the edge of it, there was no grass in what appeared to be a circle, though it was hard to tell from this vantage point. The circle had to be roughly half a mile in diameter._

_"Weapons at the ready," she commanded in a quiet tone – one that spoke of nervous anticipation. Whatever banter had been occurring among the squad immediately silenced. She glanced at Commander Petrov, who was frowning. He felt it too and, somehow, that provided absolutely no comfort to her whatsoever. _

_- - - - -_

_Ma ma, having refocused both of them, was again guiding and centering her beloved daughter, when she felt an unnatural shudder. Frowning, she dug deeper with her toes and spread out her energy to investigate what was happening. She could feel similar reactions in other members of their community. Bypassing the worry of the others, she concentrated on the gravitational disturbance. The only thing she knew of that could affect the gravitational pull of the planet was the moon, but this was definitely something else. The more she investigated, the more unnatural the disturbance felt. Subconsciously, she reached out with her face tendrils and touched her daughter, stroking her head comfortingly. She could feel the nervousness building, not only in her daughter and herself, but in the others around them._

_She opened her eyes and picked up the girl, carrying her outside. As she stepped over the threshold of her home, a shadow fell across ground and she looked up._

_- - - - -_

_The squad walked slowly and with care over the soft ground. Every step she took, Shepard's foot sunk a few inches into the rich, loose dirt. It was as if someone had recently aerated the soil for cultivation._

_"Commander!" Chief Nelson shouted._

_Both Shepard and Petrov spun on the spot. The Chief was pointing to a mound of dirt some twenty feet off to their right._

_"Chief?" Shepard asked._

_"I swear that wasn't there a second ago. I… I thought I saw something move, but when I turned to look," she pointed, "That's all I saw."_

_The ground beneath them started to rumble and shake._

_"Earthquake," Private Nash yelled._

_Shepard glanced around. That's when she saw it. A mound similar to the one Nelson had pointed out had appeared on their left, only this one was moving – straight for them. "Move! Go! Go!" _

_The squad pushed toward the edge of the circle, but the… whatever it was… proved much quicker. The mound disappeared, only to have a monstrous twenty-foot high – thing – shoot out of the ground directly in front of them. The squad literally skidded to a halt, trying to change direction. _

_It was chaos._

_- - - - -_

_Absolute chaos._

_From the ground, they could see the monstrous black ships, maybe a hundred of them, darkening the sky. Their cannons cut through the air defenses, and debris from the orbiting ships rained fire from the heavens. Once the air defenses were sufficiently crippled, the guns were turned to the planet itself, razing tracts of land half a kilometer wide, flattening buildings, and killing everything in their path._

_As Ma ma ran with her daughter in her arms, she dodged falling stone and metal. Somewhere along the way, she picked up one of those pieces of shrapnel and tucked it in the folds of her dress. She watched as her friends and neighbors were not so lucky, being crushed beneath the burning debris or speared by shrapnel. Others passed her along the way, also running for their lives, but not bearing the burden of their young. She never once thought to begrudge her Ai Nyu, her beloved daughter, for slowing her down. She was her life and reason for living. Running without her would be futile, so she kept running and managed, somehow, to make it to the hills. She found a cave and hoped to find sanctuary there. She set Ai Nyu in the cave and turned to look back. A shrill, piercing screech filled her head, driving her to her knees. She heard her daughter cry out as well, but she couldn't move as the sound paralyzed her, arresting all thought and motion._

_- - - - -_

_Finally the shriek stopped, and Shepard was able to move again. She saw one of her privates dangling from the claws of the great beast. She glanced around and saw that her unit had scattered._

_"Fall back." It was the first thing that came to her mind to say. She knew they were all running anyway, but she hoped that giving them an order they could obey would draw them back to the rational, unpanicked fighting group she'd come to love. "On my six!" She continued moving, trying to find the Commander. As soon as she spotted him, she ran toward him. _

_"LC, down!"_

_She wasn't even sure who yelled it, but she dropped to her stomach and rolled to the right onto her back so she could see what was coming. She watched a green glob shoot past where she had just been standing, leaving a trail of small green drops as it went. She watched in morbid fascination as the drops landed on the ground where she had just lain, scalding it. Acid. And it would have easily eaten through her suit. "Acid," she repeated aloud so the squad could hear. _

_The squad was convening at the Commander. "Toombs, call the ship back. Get us out of here. Now!" Petrov yelled._

_Shepard looked back at the monstrosity. It opened its jowls again and she watched, transfixed, as she saw the venom sack deep in it's mouth contract. "Incoming!" she shouted in warning, rolling once more to her right, taking her farther from her Commander. _This is not good.

- - - - -

Not good at all_. She was finally able to stand again. The sound – whatever it was – had paralyzed her, then caused her to seize as it wore off, but she had to get back up. She had to make sure Ai Nyu was safe. She crawled into the cave and found her daughter still shaking from the after-effects of the shriek. Cradling her in her arms as best she could, she sang. She buried her feet in the ground and sang, but the earth provided no comfort. It had its own wounds from which it was reeling, and the machines weren't finished yet. _

_She waited in the cave, listening as the sounds of screaming and weapons-fire died down, though she could still hear the fires burn and an occasional explosion erupt in the distance. After a while she decided to venture to the cave opening. Perhaps, under cover of dark, they could escape further into the wilds. _

_The coast was clear and she turned to gesture to her Ai Nyu to follow. As she did, she heard her daughter scream._

_- - - - -_

_The creature had disappeared for less than a second before surfacing again directly under two of Shepard's marines. One was swallowed whole; the other was sliced in half with one of the mighty tentacular claws. Corporal Toombs was next. Shepard watched, horrified, as a claw pierced him through, then chucked him to the edge of the circle. Toombs landed with a sickening crunch and didn't move again, blood pooling under him and seeping into the ground._

_Shepard sprayed the creature with round after round, adding to the cacophony of the other guns being fired, but they simply couldn't pierce the thick, scaly hide. Her assault rifle overheated and she threw it aside in frustration, and pulled out her sniper rifle instead. But the creature dove again, sinking beneath the surface of the ground. She glanced at the remaining squad. Everyone stood still for a moment, shocked at the brutality of the attack. _

_"Move," the Commander's voice came over the comm in a near whisper. "Move!" he repeated with a yell. _

_The unit seized the opportunity to run. Shepard got to her hands and knees, but stopped. She could feel the vibrations through her hands. It was moving again, and quickly. "No, no, no, no, no" she said quietly. "It's coming." She glanced up at the group of men and women running for the edge of the circle. They were a mere football field's length away. Yelling this time, she repeated, "It's coming."_

_She'd barely gotten the words out when the massive head thrust out of the ground right in the center of the unit. Two bodies went flying back into the center of the circle, propelled by the rapidly rising creature. One marine was impaled on its spiky head, which turned and spit acid, hitting the commander square on the chest and head. Shepard heard his screams over the comm unit in her helmet as the acid ate through his suit and didn't stop there. With a hunger as great as the creature that spit it out, the acid ate through the commander – flesh and bone – too slow to be merciful, but two quick to do anything but watch until all that was left was the lower half of his torso and legs and arms, the hands eaten away due to the instinctual attempt to wipe the acid from his eyes._

_Then she heard a sound that brought hope. Their bird was back. Shepard would just have to find a way to make sure to get her survivors on board. The ship came in firing and immediately drew the attention of the monster, the larger mass effect rounds able to pierce the tough hide. With the creature occupied, Shepard got to her feet and walked lightly, but quickly, in the direction of the two marines that had been launched back into the center of the nest. It didn't occur to her at the time that she was putting herself in more danger by going back. All she knew was that she had marines down._

_She got to the first man. It was Wash. "Private," she said quietly. He was breathing heavily and leaning to his left._

_"Broke my leg, ma'am. Leave me."_

_"That's a negative. See our ride? Flyboy's come to take us out of this mess." As she spoke, Shepard did a cursory examination of the Private's leg. It was, indeed, broken; the Private's armor was probably the only thing keeping the bone from jutting through the seal on his suit. "Come on. I've gotcha."_

_As Shepard reached down to help pull Wash to his feet, she heard a metallic rending. Looking over her shoulder, she saw that the creature's acid had done a number on the ship, eating through the starboard engine casing and dropping it to the ground. The sudden release of weight set the ship tail-spinning out of control and, for a horrifying minute, Shepard watched as their hope of salvation flailed horribly and then crashed into the rocky crags nearby. She wanted to yell – yell, scream and curse at the heavens for this day – but her job wasn't finished. She still had men on the ground and an enemy nearby, intent on finishing them all off, so she clenched her jaw and stuffed down the fury and frustration and forced her mind to clear. _

_"Lay down," Shepard commanded quietly._

_"Ma'am?" Wash asked uncertainly._

_"Trust me. Just lay down." With the ship gone, the creature once again burrowed underground, leaving an eerie silence in its wake. "Give me your grenades."_

_As Private Wash unhooked his grenades from his suit, Shepard lay down next to him on her back. "Saitama, is that you?" she called over her shoulder to the body some twenty feet away._

_"Yes ma'am."_

_"Status report."_

_"Suit's ruptured," he replied._

_"You best learn to hold your breath then," Shepard said calmly. "I'd hate to drag your ass out of danger only to have you die on me."_

_"Aye, aye, ma'am," Saitama said._

_"Who else is left?" Shepard asked into the comm, hoping to God that someone else would answer._

_"We are, ma'am. Private Embu and Chief Nelson. But she's hurt pretty bad," the Private answered._

_"Can you drag her?" Shepard asked._

_"Y-yeah. Yes ma'am."_

_"Good. Now listen. This thing… It's drawn to vibrations. I'm going to chuck a grenade. As soon as the bastard surfaces, start crawling. Get to the edge of the circle as fast as you can. If it goes below the ground again, you stop moving. Lie flat so your weight is distributed – like lying on a sheet of ice. You got it?" Shepard waited until she heard affirmatives from her people. "All right. Let's go." Shepard carefully sat up. She waited a moment, her hand resting on the ground – feeling. Then she chucked a grenade as hard as she could from her seated position. _

_It exploded. _

_Nothing happened at first, but then she felt the vibration through her hand. The creature was on the move. As she hoped, it surfaced where the grenade had exploded. _

_"Move!" she commanded and started tugging Wash backwards with her. He managed to crawl pretty well on his own, but she could tell his strength was waning. He was most likely bleeding into his suit and she couldn't properly bind the leg while he remained in his armor. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Saitama move, but the movement was wrong. She looked over at him to find he'd stood and had started running._

_"No! Get down Saitama! That's an order!" He didn't respond and kept running. Shepard turned her head in time to watch the worm slide back underground. She saw the mound appear and approach Saitama from behind. _Don't stop. Keep running. Make it. Make it. Make it_. She repeated like a mantra in her head, willing him to make it to the border of this hellish piece of dirt. But the monster was too quick. Its head breached the surface of the ground and it struck out with a claw, retreating almost immediately and dragging the screaming Saitama with it, crushing him between its body and the ground. Then silence._

_"Again." Shepard commanded. She chucked another grenade and waited for the beast to surface before crab crawling closer to the edge._

_After the creature hid itself once more, Embu broke the silence. "She… Shepard, she's seizing. LC?" With each word, the Private's words became more panicked._

_"What?" Shepard asked and looked over at the other two soldiers._

_"She's seizing!"_

_With just a second's hesitation, Shepard whipped her sniper rifle from her back, took aim. One shot. One kill. "I'm sorry," she whispered at the now still form of her chief._

_But it was too late; the vibrations had already called death to the Private. He didn't have time to scream. Or perhaps he was just resigned to his fate. But silence fell again._

_Shepard turned her head toward Wash. He nodded his readiness and she tossed another grenade. Three more times they went through the cycle – toss, crawl, wait. Toss, crawl, wait. But their grenades were limited and they had reached their last one, leaving both soldiers too far from the circle's edge to escape._

_"You know," Wash said, turning his pale, sweaty face toward Shepard, who was lying next to him. "We could just kill it."_

_Shepard looked at Wash incredulously but noticed he was smiling. She couldn't help it, the absurdity of the suggestion – the absurdity of the whole day – settled on her and she chuckled. As she chuckled, he started to laugh. "Don't," she said, half-heartedly trying to get herself under control. "Don't laugh. The vibrations…"_

_This only served to deepen Wash's laughter and he managed to get out, "At least we'll die laughing."_

_The two lay there like insane idiots, shaking with laughter. And the more terrified they should have been that their movements would call the creature, the harder they laughed, until the creature finally obliged them by making an appearance._

_Shepard could hardly see for the tears running down her cheeks, but she was also no longer laughing. Wash also had stopped. With barely a glance, the two opened fire on the monstrosity one last time. Two claws whipped out; one went straight through Wash's heart, and the other tore through Shepard's side. Without thinking, Shepard chucked the last grenade into the great open maw of the beast while, with the other hand, she gripped tightly the claw that pierced her. There was a muffled boom and a vibration that shook her violently, jerking the claw that was still through her body. She cried out in pain and waited for death. _

_But then an odd thing happened. The creature began to tilt. In slow motion, it fell, almost gently, to the side. The tentacle that attached Shepard to the creature was pulled with it as it fell and Shepard was dragged nearly three feet before coming to rest. _

_She was getting cold and numb, but the claw served to staunch the wound and kept her from bleeding freely. When she waited and nothing happened, she decided to take action. She pulled out her Ka-bar and sliced neatly through the tentacle, but had the presence of mind to leave the claw in place._

_She crawled and pulled until she made it to the edge of the circle. Finding strength of will she didn't know she possessed, working more on autopilot and the instinct for self-preservation, she pulled herself to Corporal Toombs' body and took his radio gear. She called the fleet, requesting transport, though she wasn't really sure the message had been received, because darkness and cottony silence settled over her. As she lay on the ground, she turned her head toward what she would later recognize as the Thresher Maw nest, and whispered, "I'm sorry."_

_- - - - -_

_Ma ma heard her daughter scream and didn't have time to turn before feeling her body pierced by cables. Something lodged into the back of her head and an odd sensation, like liquid ice, slid through her body. She fell to her knees. Somehow, she knew she wasn't dying. Whatever had been done, she was being kept alive. Her tendrils crept along the cables and to the back of her head, trying to understand what was happening. The cables that pierced her altered, and wrapped around her, becoming one with her form, and she understood. Somehow, she was being absorbed, changed. And she would no longer be her._

_When she fell to her knees, her daughter ran forward to her, despite the obvious danger. For once, she was glad. A voice inside her head – a voice not her own – told her to stand aside and let her daughter be taken. But she couldn't. She wouldn't. So as she held her daughter for the last time, reaching and comforting her, she reached into her dress, and pulled out the shard of metal which she had laid hold of earlier. Then she plunged it deep into her daughter's heart, freeing her from a life of servitude and torture._

_"I'm sorry," she whispered._

"I'm sorry," Shepard whispered.

"Brennan?" Kaidan asked, his voice laden with urgency and concern. Shepard had been sleeping for nearly ten hours and, from what anyone could tell, most of that time was spent in some nightmare or other. "Brennan," Kaidan said again, this time venturing to nudge her gently.

With a gasp, Brennan sat up, fear evident in her wide eyes. The sudden movement had startled Kaidan and he jerked back, which only served to add to the terror he saw on her face. Brennan back peddled into the wall behind her, glancing around the room rapidly, trying to get her bearings, though apparently not succeeding.

"Brennan, you're all right," Kaidan said, in what he hoped was a soothing tone. This was made difficult since he felt anything but calm. He had not once seen Shepard panic before, and it was disconcerting, to say the least. Shepard's eyes locked with his and, though she seemed to struggle for recognition for a moment, he knew the moment he had her back.

"Kaidan?"

"Yeah," he nodded, smiling in spite of himself.

"What the hell happened?"

"According to Dr. Nolan, when you went with him to examine a new file they found, you received some kind of jolt from Vigil."

Brennan frowned. "The Salarian… " Things were still very unclear in her head. She had been dreaming – a nightmare. Images of Akuze flashed before her eyes, but that wasn't all. She dreamt something else – someone else's nightmare. Brennan's eyes darkened and the last vestiges of fear turned to anger. "Vigil," she bit out before walking purposefully from the room.

- - - - -

A/N - I apologize for straying a bit from canon here in that the indication is that the Thresher Maw nest had more than one Thresher Maw in it. I also realized, after posting the last chapter that I made mistakes. I did not realize (until I played through the game... again) that Ilos is in the Terminus Systems. I will try to address that in a later chapter.

I'm also not sure how often this story will be updated since I'm still supposed to be working on a different fanfic. :D But I hope you enjoy anyway. Also, I'll give some explanation in the next chapter about what happened in this one.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I really appreciate the awesome support. Thanks also to my wonderful Mom, J.A. Carlton, and hubby for beta-ing. Thank you.

VoiDreamer - I did not have a way of responding to your review directly, but I wanted to thank you anyway. I think it's awesome that your character had the same background as mine and so, made her more relatable. Thank you very much for your kind words.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer - Usual. I'm simply inspired.

Chapter 3

"Brennan," Kaidan called after her. When she didn't respond, he jogged up to her and took her arm, turning her to face him. "Brennan, what is going on? One minute you're helping an alarmed Salarian, the next you're unconscious in medical. You wake up terrified…" Kaidan spoke gently. Shepard was refusing to make eye contact, which was something the confident commander rarely did. "Talk to me."

Brennan thought for a moment on the best way to answer him. The fact that Kaidan had witnessed her moment of terror was discomforting enough, but she also really wasn't sure what was going on. The Akuze dream had been bad enough. She hadn't had that nightmare for some time and had hoped she was free of it. But now she was having nightmares about things she had never witnessed – things impossible for her to have seen. And she wasn't sure how she felt about that.

Taking a deep breath, she looked up at Kaidan. "Do you remember the Cipher?" Kaidan frowned and nodded. "I… don't think I received just racial… experience." Brennan struggled to put into words what her mind hadn't quite been able to wrap itself around yet. "Some vague sense of what it means to be Prothean. I mean, think about it. I can understand the Prothean language. That's not something any race inherently knows. It's something that has to be learned."

Still frowning, Kaidan asked, "So what are you saying?"

Brennan sighed frustratedly. "I think I got actual memories."

"Is that even possible?"

"I don't know," Brennan said, sounding defeated. She stared blankly at the wall, deep in thought. This was way beyond anything she'd ever experienced before and had no context in which to fit what was happening. Humans didn't share thoughts directly, so how was she to know what was 'normal'? After a moment, she looked back up at Kaidan, her eyes sharp with purpose. "But I know who might." Tapping her personal communicator, Shepard said in a clipped voice, "Liara." She turned away and started walking.

"Commander Shepard. Good to…"

"Meet me at Vigil."

"Uh… Yes ma'am."

Kaidan smiled to himself. He could visualize Liara's expression. Never having served in the military, she still had trouble adjusting when Brennan went from friend to commander. He felt bad for her in a way, but it was endearing to see, and emphasized her youth and her lack of experience. He couldn't help but appreciate her innocence despite all they'd been through, or maybe that was why he appreciated it.

Liara was waiting for them by the time they arrived at Vigil. She glanced questioningly at Kaidan, perhaps searching for some clue as to Shepard's professional demeanor. Kaidan seemed concerned, but fairly relaxed, leading Liara to believe this was not related to the overall mission and the Reapers.

Shepard nodded at Liara, but then turned her attention to Vigil. "Vigil."

"Spectre Shepard. It is good to see you again."

"What did you do to me?" Shepard asked in her characteristic cut-to-the-chase manner that she used when working a mission.

"I simply provided your nervous system with enough stimulation to render you unconscious."

"Why?"

"I've been monitoring your brainwave patterns. They have been slowly altering over time, coming more in line with what was registered among the Protheans. You, however, were blocking the process."

Brennan dropped her head as understanding came. "So you knocked me out, allowing my subconscious to work out the problem in my sleep."

"That was the intent of the Cipher, was it not? It was necessary for you to understand what you have seen."

"But was it really 'necessary'?" Brennan questioned skeptically. "We already found the conduit. We know what happened."

"You need to remember. You are the last living link to the Protheans now."

Shepard turned her back on Vigil and walked a short distance away, pondering this latest information.

Kaidan and Liara both watched in silence. Neither understood entirely what was being said, but neither wanted to interrupt the conversation with questions.

A thought suddenly jumped to the fore of Shepard's mind and she spun on the spot, glaring at Vigil. "What does that mean? What's happening to me?"

"I cannot say. This was not one of our contingency plans. We had no way of knowing about the Thorian, the Cipher, or its effect on your physiology."

"My physiology?!" Shepard clenched her fists, her fear expressing itself as anger. "What does that mean?"

"Your biotics," Kaidan said quietly, gazing at Brennan appraisingly.

She was not at all comfortable with the way Kaidan was looking at her. She could see the wheels turning in his head as he weighed this information. _Always leave a way out, eh Kaidan_? Brennan turned her gazed to Liara, who was looking at her with all the curiosity of a scientist looking at interesting results from an experiment and making Brennan feel very exposed under the close scrutiny.

"Of course," Liara agreed. "That makes sense. Few humans have the biotic abilities that you and Kaidan display. He is equipped with the older L2 biotic amp which explains his power, but you're an L3... Did your abilities begin to advance after you came into contact with the first beacon?"

Brennan's brows furrowed as she thought back. She was highly uncomfortable with the prospect of the Protheans altering her physiology, but she thought about when she had first noticed a change in what she could accomplish and it was, indeed, around the time of the first beacon, with more measurable changes taking place after Feros. She nodded in response to Liara's question.

"Fascinating, Commander. Perhaps we could…"

"No." Brennan held up her hand, staying any suggestion Liara was going to make. She knew that Liara's intentions were good, but that she really would end up as a research subject if Liara had her way. She reigned in her emotions and tried to think logically about the situation. So far, no harm had come to her as a result of her contact with the beacons and the cipher. In fact, as far as she could tell, they had enhanced her abilities and helped her defeat Saren. She just wondered if she would remain so lucky.

"Vigil, what else can I expect to change?" Brennan asked, sounding a good deal calmer than she had just a few seconds earlier.

Vigil was silent for a moment, though the console flickered with silent calculations. "I cannot say with one hundred percent accuracy. However, it is unlikely that anything else will change. It was your mind that was affected and therefore the way you think, your brainwaves, and your biotic ability have all been affected."

Brennan considered this for a moment, then nodded in satisfaction. "Fine. Will I notice further changes in those areas?"

"Your biotic ability may continue to advance, as it is not yet on par with the Protheans, though it is also possible that you will never be able to achieve what they were capable of achieving. As for your thinking patterns and brainwaves, it is not likely you would recognize further change even if it did occur."

"Well that's comforting," she mumbled to herself. Brennan did not like the prospect of changing unaware. "Why do I have memories of the Reaper attack? I thought the beacons just carried a message."

"It is likely your subconscious constructed the memory from the images stored in the beacon," Vigil provided.

Brennan shook her head. "No. It wasn't just… images in a dream. It was very… personal."

"Shepard," Liara interjected. "Perhaps it has to do with the Cipher."

Brennan looked to Liara and waited for her to explain.

"As you know, when we Asari meld with another individual, images and thoughts pass from one to the other." Brennan nodded, acknowledging that she was with Liara so far. "It is possible that when Shiala passed the Cipher to you, it included more than just racial experience. We don't know much about the Thorian or how it received its knowledge. It very likely seeded a few of the Protheans, as it did the human colonists."

"Making its knowledge first-hand," Brennan supplied, following Liara's train of thought.

"Correct. Perhaps it was connected to the Protheans in your dream – the ones that were attacked. Then the memory was passed to Shiala and on to you."

Brennan stood for a moment, absorbing this latest bit of information. She was beginning to feel like a laden sponge and wondered how much more she could absorb before she started to lose it. She glanced back to her friends, trying to gauge their reaction. Kaidan's guarded expression contrasted starkly with Liara's open and curious one. Recognizing that Liara wanted to ask a question, but was holding back, Brennan prompted her. "What?"

"I just never realized how powerful Prothean technology could be. It's so rare to find something of theirs that's still intact. And here you are with practically all the answers I've been searching for locked away in your head. It's all very…"

"Frustrating?" Brennan asked. She was no longer angry or afraid. Perhaps she was too tired to muster either. Not only did she have a lot to absorb, making her brain work overtime, but nightmares had a way of robbing the body of the benefits sound sleep provided. She, however, liked to think she had resigned herself to the situation. It was one of the advantages of being a soldier. You learn to accept circumstances for what they are and work with what you've got. Improvise, adapt and overcome. It was the Marine way. Though she was not a Marine, she had worked closely with enough to esteem them. It was one of the things that had set her apart as an officer. She treated NCO's with regard, recognizing that many had served much longer terms than she and, therefore, had greater knowledge and experience than she. In return, they respected her for her willingness to listen to input and advice while she still maintained an air of authority.

"I was going to say 'exciting.' Can I… ask you questions?"

The Protheans were a nearly life-long study for Liara. As such, her enthusiasm sometimes blinded her to the discomfort of others, particularly Brennan, who was good at hiding her emotions anyway. Brennan replied patiently, "I don't think it works that way. It seems to be more of an intuitive knowledge than something I could express in words."

"But you said you had a dream. What did you see? What were they like?"

"Liara," Brennan sighed. "I'd really rather not go into it right now."

"Oh," Liara intoned, looking crestfallen. After a few seconds she seemed to realize her faux pas. "Oh, I am sorry, Shepard. It seems I have not gotten much better at dealing with humans… with you."

"It's okay," Brennan said and reached out to gently squeeze Liara's arm in a comforting gesture that made Liara blush.

"Uh…" Kaidan broke in. He spoke hesitantly as if not wanting to interrupt. "I think you should inform medical, Brennan. It would be good to make Dr. Chakwas aware of the situation."

Brennan held Kaidan's gaze. She could see that he was still guarded and wondered what he was thinking. Truth be told, she didn't really have the courage to ask him about it right now. They both needed time to process what this could mean – for her and for them. Exhaling heavily, she sighed, "Very well." She was more than a little surprised when Kaidan did not accompany her as she walked away. Glancing back briefly, she saw that he was speaking with Liara, though she was already too far away to make out what he was saying.

"What do you think?" Kaidan asked Liara when he was sure Brennan was out of earshot.

"About what?" Liara asked with mild suspicion. She and Kaidan were not on unfriendly terms by any means, but they had never connected the way he had with Tali, Garrus, and even Wrex, as much as anyone connected with Wrex. She wondered, occasionally, if that had more to do with her, since she did harbor mild jealousy over his relationship with Shepard. She was also, admittedly, rather awkward in social situations, even with the other members of the crew. She had always gotten along best with Tali and Shepard. In any case, this was the first time that Kaidan had chosen to seek her out for a one-on-one conversation and she wondered at his motivation.

Kaidan paused for a brief second to make sure that his annoyance at Liara's seemingly dim question did not show through. "What do you think about what's happening to her?"

"I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at," Liara said slowly. She could tell the human was fishing for information, but she honestly wasn't sure what he wanted.

Kaidan's hand twitched closed in frustration but, being a biotic, he was hyperaware of his nervous system and relaxed his hand almost immediately. He recognized that he was on edge about this subject, not sure if he was going to like the answers he received, as it might affect his relationship with Shepard. Taking a deep breath, he clarified, "Do you think Vigil was right? Is the extent of her physiological change going to be limited to her biotic abilities and mental faculties?"

Liara appraised Kaidan openly, unable to hide the protective feelings the question flared in her. "I think it is most likely accurate." She saw Kaidan relax minimally and had to struggle with herself before continuing with a more in-depth explanation of why she felt this to be the truth. "How much do you know about Asari physiology?"

"Not a whole lot," Kaidan admitted. "Why?"

"When an Asari Matron is ready to conceive, she melds with her prospective mate," Liara paused to make sure Kaidan was following. He nodded his understanding. "During the melding, the Matron's energy and being attunes to that of her mate, drawing from her partner the genes necessary to form a complete pair for her offspring."

"That's the part that loses me," Kaidan said.

Liara sighed. "This is… difficult to explain. It is not really clear if we literally pull the genes from our mates, or simply imprint the genetic code onto a… blank set, so to speak."

Kaidan stared at Liara for a minute before shaking his head. "Yeah… That really didn't clear things up for me."

"My point is: though we gain genetic information from our mates, Asari have remained essentially the same – in appearance, ability, how we reproduce. We have probably changed as little over a millennia as humans have, despite our mating with other species. Our genetic base is simply larger than yours – fresher, if you will. Even if she's been altered at a genetic level, which is unlikely, I don't think she will physically change any more than she has."

Kaidan mulled this over, then asked, "But to effect the changes to her physiology, wouldn't there have to be changes to her genetic code?"

"Not necessarily. We know that changing one's thought patterns changes not only behavior but also the physical layout of the brain. It's like forging a path in the wilderness. Initially, there might be but a faint impression in the grass letting you know a person has passed that way. But if the path continues to be used, the grass will eventually wear away and the path will deepen with time. It is the same way with thoughts and the synapses used in the brain. It is also the same principle that creates 'muscle memory.'"

Kaidan nodded. "Right – why moves that seem unnatural to the untrained are reflexive to a martial artist."

"Exactly."

"So simply changing her thought patterns is what led to the changes in her biotic abilities."

"That, and she likely received some intuitive knowledge from the Protheans. If what Vigil says is accurate, we will probably see further development in her abilities."

Kaidan nodded again and began to turn away from Liara. He paused in his movement and looked at the Asari. He had never felt threatened by her, as Shepard had made it clear very early on that she had no interest in the young Asari as anything other than a friend or perhaps a little sister. But he was also aware of Liara's own discomfort around him. "Thank you, Liara."

Liara held his gaze. "Kaidan… There will be times the Prothean memories will become overwhelming and threaten to swallow her. Don't let her lose herself."

Kaidan offered Liara a small smile, appreciating the effort it took her to admit Kaidan's place in Shepard's life. "I won't."

- - - - -

A/N - Thank you to all who have reviewed and commented on this story, thus far. Have no fear, I have no intention of turning Shepard into some over-powered, superhuman biotic. I do not want to move to far from the character Bioware originally created, but I also think that they downplayed the significance of the Cipher. I mean, by the end, she still didn't really have a clear understanding of the vision. So I decided to take a few liberties. Hope y'all don't mind. I welcome you to continue pointing out to me where I've strayed too far from canon and where I'm just wrong in what has been presented. If I don't explicitly state that I've changed something, I probably haven't realized that I've done it.

Thank you, also, to my wonderful betas - Mom, hubby, and J.A. Carlton. Love you.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer - Usual. Still loving the game, by the way. I'm just inches away from level 60. Yea!

Chapter 4

The next week passed in a blur of last minute preparations, instructions, and more detailed one-on-one briefings. Before the Normandy could leave, quite a few wrinkles had to be ironed out to ensure that the colony on Ilos was both self-sufficient and well hidden. Ilos was technically located in the Terminus Systems, though in a remote and largely inaccessible area. Residents of the Terminus Systems depended on the mass relays for most of their long distance travel just as those in Citadel space did, and the Mu Relay, who's location was unknown until the recent re-birth of the Rachni, was the only link to Ilos. Only a handful of people knew the location of the relay, making it unlikely that anyone in the Terminus Systems would be able to find it. The hope was that these factors, and the lack of comm chatter coming from the planet, would leave Ilos invisible to anyone who might be patrolling the area. It was a risk, but one deemed necessary, given the probability that the Reapers would find another way into galactic space, and the single greatest store of knowledge on the Reapers was located there.

A specially-designed beacon was installed in the main research facility, to be used in case of emergency. They had the most advanced monitoring system built into the planetary defense grid in hopes of catching any encroaching enemy well in advance. If they saw trouble, or the colony was discovered or attacked, the beacon could be used to communicate with its sister beacons on the Normandy and at the Citadel. No other signal could be transmitted from the surface of Ilos, leaving it completely cut off from the rest of Citadel space.

Since Brennan was no longer directly responsible for the Normandy and her crew, nor was she responsible for the day-in and day-out operations of the colony, she spent hours pouring over Saren's mission files and log entries during the week, with few interruptions. By the time they were ready to leave Ilos, she had sifted through most of Saren's recent history, though nothing stood out as a turning point in his allegiance to the Citadel. He had taken great care in keeping Sovereign a secret, so there was little mention at all of Sovereign and the Reapers, even in his personal files. Most of what she learned had to be pieced together and she frustratedly wondered if this wasn't a pointless wild goose chase. Unfortunately, he was their only lead for finding more information on the Reapers.

Within a few hours, the Normandy would be leaving Ilos and heading to the Citadel for a quick re-supply stop before heading out to find clues about the Reapers. Unfortunately, Shepard felt at a loss as to where to begin. Questions needed to be answered. How big a fleet did the Reapers really comprise? How much knowledge of the Reapers did Saren have before his first contact with Sovereign? Did the Reapers have a contingency plan for entering the galaxy if the Citadel didn't come online, acting as the portal they required for entering inhabited space?

With no clear path before her, Shepard decided that she needed input and called for one last meeting with "her team."

Brennan had felt hesitant about leaving Liara behind, but Liara had assured her that she was used to living in isolation and she would have plenty to keep her busy, not that they had a choice. Besides, she really wasn't alone. There was a whole colony living there now. Brennan failed to point out that she wasn't as concerned about Liara's loneliness as she was her safety, but there was really nothing she could do about that either – nothing that hadn't already been done.

Liara was not the only team member she was losing. Tali had fulfilled her initial obligation to their cause and still had the information on the Geth that needed to be given to her people. She would disembark at the Citadel and secure passage back to her own people and end her pilgrimage. When she did return to take over the technical research, she would be remaining on Ilos along with Liara.

Wrex was also leaving their numbers. His mission was to get in contact with the Shadow Broker and, ultimately, make connections in the Terminus Systems that could be used to build diplomatic ties. It was considered odd by some that Brennan had chosen a battle-hardened, long time mercenary – and Krogan to boot – to build diplomatic relations with an enemy. However, Shepard knew that he was most likely, of their group, to already have the connections it required to make contact with the Shadow Broker or one of his agents. Additionally, Brennan thought that the types of characters from the Terminus Systems that would be most open to exchanges with those from Citadel space were smugglers, mercs and others of that crowd.

There was another reason, however, that Brennan had chosen Wrex for this assignment. She remembered the stories Wrex had shared with her during their first mission. His impression of Saren, and his decision to leave behind a potential payday, said a lot for his instincts and being able to accurately read and judge a situation. It also spoke of his integrity – that he wasn't easily lured by money to do something he knew he shouldn't – at least where his self-preservation was concerned. They were, after all, fighting for their lives. Knowing that was a high priority to him, Brennan believed he would stay focused and not be easily swayed. She also remembered the story about his past with his fellow Krogan. Brennan believed that anyone who could convince whole Krogan tribes to stop fighting would be useful as a diplomat. Hence her decision to assign Wrex the task of forging an alliance with the Terminus Systems or at least finding her an "in."

The small team assembled in the conference room of the research facility.

"All right people. This is your last chance to speak freely," Shepard opened the meeting.

After a brief pause, the talking started. Most of the discussion was a rehashing of what little they knew, as well as speculation. As she listened, a small smile crept across Brennan's face.

"Shepard," Liara interrupted herself when she noticed the unusual expression Brennan wore. "Did I say something humorous?"

"What?" Brennan asked as her inner musings were interrupted. "Oh, no. I was just thinking… What if we're… overcomplicating things?"

"What do you mean?" Liara asked.

Shepard looked around, hesitating slightly before speaking. Ask her a question about the Alliance or tactics, and she would willingly and confidently offer an opinion. It wasn't that she thought she was always correct, but she also knew that she would not learn anything new if she was too afraid to speak. This, however, was theoretical science – artificial intelligence and technology and there was a log she didn't know. "When I asked Vigil why the Reapers do what they do, his explanation was simply that they were an advanced life form and we may never know their motivation. What if it's not that complicated?" She turned her gaze to Kaidan. "Someone once told me that if there's one thing humans can learn from meeting new races it's that we're all basically the same. We all have needs and wants. We have similar drives." She paused to let her words sink in. "Now, add in the factor that the Reapers are, ultimately, machines - created by someone. I don't believe what Sovereign said about Reapers always having existed. So if they were created by someone, then they have programming that they must adhere to, despite how they've changed over time. Maybe their data has been corrupted; or maybe they've chosen not to remember what makes them less than gods…" Brennan paused for a moment, then sat back in her seat, lost in thought again.

"I don't see how that changes anything," Liara pointed out.

"Know your enemy," the Krogan said.

Shepard nodded at him appreciatively. "It alters our initial presuppositions. They are not superior." Brennan received a few skeptical glances at that statement, so she expounded, "They're advanced, but not superior."

"In other words," Tali offered, "Don't be intimidated. We can figure them out – or at the very least discover their weaknesses."

"Hm," Liara nodded and smiled with renewed confidence, the task before her seeming a little less daunting.

The meeting had not helped Brennan or given her any direction, but it had a positive outcome, regardless, and now it was time to move on. Glancing around the conference room one last time, Brennan took a brief moment to lament the fact that time never stands still when you most want it to. Life goes on and, though she felt like she was losing half of her crew – half of her family, she knew that eventually those soon-to-be empty seats would be occupied by others. It wasn't a comforting thought so much as serving to emphasize that this is the way of the Universe – ever changing, always moving, like a stream of water – and she was part of that. She smiled slightly, thinking that that was a very Asari philosophy to take.

Once on the Normandy, a course was set for the Citadel. Kaidan had offered his quarters to Brennan so she could work without distraction, which she accepted. But she insisted that, when the time came, she would not use his quarters for sleeping, opting instead to use the communal sleeper pods. Captain's quarters were, after all, for the captain, and Brennan knew that the Alliance members of the crew would see a Spectre, even a human Spectre, taking over the Captain's quarters as a sign that Kaidan was putting the Council's interests before Earth's. Despite the unifying effect that Sovereign's attack had on the galaxy, many, especially those in the military, still maintained a certain amount of a separatist, or even elitist, attitude. The thought was that Earth had gotten where it was on its own and would only maintain its standing by remaining staunchly independent.

Brennan worried a little, wondering how Kaidan would handle this, since he didn't believe that human interests were particularly more important than the galaxy as a whole. In fact, when Brennan had to make the decision to sacrifice Alliance troops to save the Council or hold off to allow for a larger fighting force to face Sovereign directly, Kaidan had been the one to argue that saving the Council was for the greater good. Providence had smiled on her that day and they succeeded in both saving the Council and taking down Sovereign. Despite that success, she had still received criticism for her decision from a few humans who were bold enough to argue with "The Hero of The Battle for the Citadel."

During the week leading up to their departure, Kaidan and Brennan had slipped into a comfortable pattern in which their highest priority was the mission. Since both had an inbred loyalty to the Alliance and its operating procedures and regs, which tended to frown on public displays of affection (especially in unmarried crewmates), few witnessed anything that would indicate they were in a relationship, though it remained a favorite topic of speculation and scuttlebutt.

Brennan had several hours between their departure from Ilos and their docking at the Citadel, so she took the opportunity to get to know a few of the crew additions. She skimmed over the Alliance personnel files before moving on to the Citadel representatives.

A three-man Turian Cabal had been assigned to the crew. While speaking with Garrus, she learned that these Cabals were generally mistrusted by "normal" Turian troops, though he said this was based more on reputation and image than actual proof that they ever did anything to warrant the mistrust. Very few Turians had biotic abilities and those that did were placed almost exclusively into Cabals. They were roughly the Turian equivalent of special ops. But he felt their skill would be beneficial, their comfort with keeping secrets was an asset, and their sense of duty and honor would keep them in line.

The Asari offered a pair of Commandos. From what their file said, the two ladies had trained together and had been working with each other for nearly 50 years. They had been disciples of Benezia, but chose not to follow her when she joined forces with Saren.

And finally, Captain Kirrahe requested that a few of his men be assigned to the crew. Since they were familiar with the mission already, had experience working with Shepard, and were well-trained infiltrators and engineers, his request was accepted. They also had the bonus of being somewhat familiar with the Normandy crew, having spent time aboard her.

The only problem with all of these additions was that it overcrowded the Normandy – or it would have if she maintained her normal thirty-member Alliance crew. The Salarians took up posts in Engineering and Maintenance. The Turians worked Communications and Navigation. The Asari took up Ash's vacancy by maintaining weapons and keeping stock of munitions stores.

Shepard finished reviewing the crew's files and got up to stretch her legs. She opened the door to the Captain's quarters to take a short walk and nearly ran into Kaidan, who was standing at the door with his hand raised, poised to knock. "Oo. Sorry."

Kaidan smiled, "No problem. I was just coming to get you. We've arrived at the Citadel."

"Oh joy." Brennan frowned. "All right. Thanks."

Kaidan watched her head toward her locker to get her gear, wondering all the while why she was so unenthusiastic. The question would have to wait, however, as he had his own preparations to make before docking. Becoming Captain brought with it all new duties and, while he was honored, he sometimes missed the simple life of an LT. He met with the Requisitions Officer, the Salarians, and the Asari to approve what supplies they were expecting to receive and inventory. He had just finished giving Navigator Johnson his last-minute instructions when Joker's voice came over the intercom.

"We have docked and are secure, Captain."

"Thank you, Joker." Kaidan grabbed his own gear from the locker adjacent to Shepard's and donned his armor and weapons. By the time he arrived at the air lock, Brennan, Garrus, Wrex, and Tali were already there.

On the landing platform, a Corporal approached their rather odd group. "Uh… Captain Alenko?" He saluted as soon as he saw bars on Kaidan's shoulders.

Kaidan saluted back. "Corporal."

"We have your supplies here…"

"Take them to the loading bay, Corporal." Kaidan pointed toward the back of the ship where a second ramp could be extended to load equipment and supplies directly into the Normandy's storage area.

"Yes sir."

When Kaidan turned back to the group, Brennan was smirking and holding the elevator door for him. He squeezed in next to her and the elevator door slid shut. Kaidan could never understand why the only elevator from a private dock would only comfortably hold four people. Add to that number a large Krogan and put everyone in full gear, and Kaidan suddenly felt empathy for sardines – until he realized that at least sardines were dead and unaware of their discomfort.

From the back of the elevator, Kaidan watched as Wrex nudged Tali. Tali had to put her hand out to keep from falling into the wall. When a Krogan nudges anything, it moves, and Tali was slight – surprisingly tough and agile for her size – but slight. She didn't say anything, but simply looked suspiciously over her shoulder. A few seconds later, Wrex nudged her again.

"Wrex!" Tali said in an annoyed voice.

Wrex smirked and pointed at Garrus. For some reason, he had gotten it in his head that Tali and Garrus would make a cute couple, despite the race differences, though there were similarities, too. Both races ate the same type of food and had the same number of fingers and toes. He figured that was close enough for a match.

The sharp Quarian glanced at Garrus, or it was assumed she did when her head moved almost imperceptibly in a way that would offer her a better view of the Turian. "You don't honestly think I believe that Garrus reached around you to push me, do you?"

At the mention of his name, Garrus' attention turned to the Quarian and Wrex.

"Believe what you want," Wrex answered, undeterred by the absurdity of the situation.

"I… What?" Garrus stammered. "I did no such thing."

Garrus' stuttering only served to amuse Wrex, as he seemed to think this proved his theory that the two held secret feelings for each other. And he had not been shy about his assertions in the past. Brennan was never really sure if he honestly believed the two could be a couple, or if he was just amused by causing chaos.

Wrex let out a low chuckle. He nudged Garrus next and said, "This is your last chance kid."

"My… for…" Wrex was in a fully belly roll now and Garrus could only shake his head and sigh. "I am sorry for Wrex's behavior, Tali. Please ignore his ridiculous notions…"

"'Ridiculous?'" Tali asked, sounding offended.

"Oh, kid," Wrex stage whispered to Garrus. "You stepped in it this time."

"And what is so ridiculous about the idea of someone being attracted to me?" Tali asked.

"I… That's not what I meant," Garrus tried valiantly to defend himself only to have Wrex step in again.

"So are you finally admitting your feelings for her?"

"No!"

"Is the thought that appalling to you?" Tali countered.

"No. I just don't think about it," Garrus tried again.

Wrex was laughing again, when Shepard's sharp voice commanded, "Enough," and except for a few low rumbles that were Wrex laughing to himself, silence reigned.

Kaidan glanced at Brennan. She usually enjoyed watching Wrex's antics when it came to Garrus and Tali, so her decision to put an end to this episode puzzled Kaidan. She was frowning again, but he couldn't see her eyes to try and further discern her mood. This in itself said something, however. She often knew when Kaidan was watching her and would acknowledge it with a look of her own. But this staring straight ahead meant she was concentrating.

The elevator finally reached its destination in C-Sec headquarters. The doors opened and the group unloaded, quickly taking up squad positions as if this were any other mission. Shepard was the last to set foot on solid ground and her eyes scanned the area before she relaxed minimally.

They were immediately greeted by a C-Sec officer. "Councilman Anderson is waiting to see you and your party, ma'am."

She nodded tersely and stepped forward to follow the officer.

"Shepard."

Brennan turned around to face Wrex. "Wrex."

"I have a contact to meet," he said simply.

Brennan held his gaze for a moment before nodding. In a softer voice than her usual crisp, commanding one, she said, "Take care, Wrex." As she did, she held out her hand to Wrex. They grasped forearms in a salute of mutual respect.

"I always do." He released her arm and turned his attention to the other three standing with her. "Alenko."

"Stay out of trouble," Kaidan said, eliciting a low rumbling chuckle from the Krogan. And they also clasped forearms.

"Tali," Wrex said next.

"Stay warm," she said. Her voice was as clear as ever, but even the synthesized quality it had due to her suit couldn't hide the affection in her voice.

"Garrus."

"It's been an honor," Garrus said – the highest compliment he could offer.

Glancing at Brennan, Wrex said, "Look out for him. The kid'll be lost without me."

Garrus shook his head and chuckled, but Brennan answered seriously, "Will do, Wrex." With that, Wrex walked toward the entrance to the Wards, leaving their numbers – at least for a time.

"Uh… I suppose I should be going, too," Tali said. Since she would no longer be traveling with the Normandy, she did not need to attend whatever meeting was going to occur in the Councilman's chambers.

"Of course," Brennan said, though Kaidan noticed that her voice sounded strained.

"I've got transportation to the flotilla, but it will take some time to get everything squared away. I hope to be able to convince my father to allow a few of our top engineers to join me and help with the work on Ilos."

Brennan smiled slightly. "I can use all the help I can get."

Brennan was pretty sure the girl was smiling and she laughed lightly at the reminder of the first day they met. "You can count on me." They agreed that Tali would contact the Normandy when she was ready to rejoin the crew. "You'd better go. The Councilman is waiting."

"We'll see you soon," Brennan said and drew the young Quarian into a hug. "You have the frequency for communication?" Those who were trying to contact the Normandy regarding the Project were all instructed to use a specific frequency. This kept Project communication distinguishable from other chatter when transmitting and receiving over great distances. Someone on the Normandy would always be monitoring that frequency for incoming messages.

Tali nodded. "Right here," she said and her omni-tool glowed, the information on its display. Tali turned next to Kaidan. They also embraced and Kaidan said, "Take care of yourself."

"You too. And let me know if you find anything interesting."

Kaidan chuckled. "Will do."

Tali next turned to Garrus. The two looked as if they were going to hug, but a bout of awkwardness overtook them and the stepped away from each other.

"I'm sorry… about earlier," Garrus apologized quietly.

"It's okay," Tali replied. With a laugh, she added, "You really are too easy."

"I'm… What?" Garrus asked, then realized that Tali had been teasing him earlier to get him riled up.

Tali reached up and touched the side of his face. A moment later she turned and walked away. Just before rounding the corner to the Ward's entrance, she looked back and waved; then she was gone.

The C-Sec officer who had born witness to the exchanges cleared his throat in an attempt to gain the remainder of the group's attention. All three turned toward him and he had the sudden impression that he'd rudely interrupted them. "Um… the Councilman…"

"Lead on," Brennan said.

When they arrived at Anderson's apartment, the officer who had escorted them waited outside by the door.

"Ah, Brennan. Captain Alenko. Garrus Vakarian." Councilman Anderson greeted each person in turn.

"Councilman," Garrus nodded, unsure how to address the man in front of him. Prior to meeting Shepard, he'd never even stood before the Council. Now he was standing in one of the Council member's apartments. He could not imagine a greater honor, yet it also served as a reminder to him of the importance of what they were doing.

"Sir," both Brennan and Kaidan said, though Kaidan added a salute. He was also unsure of the proper protocol for addressing the man that stood before him.

"No need for that, Captain," Anderson said jovially.

Councilman Anderson had never been the type to appear stressed. He always seemed laid back and unconcerned, even when plotting the mutiny that freed the Normandy from her lockdown only months ago, but Kaidan thought he almost seemed happy, if haggard.

"Unfortunately," Anderson spoke again, directing his attention primarily to Shepard, "We don't have much time for pleasantries." He stepped up to his desk and picked up the data disc sitting on top of the cluttered workspace. He handed the disc to Brennan. "We have reports that there is still Geth activity in Citadel Space. We need you to investigate. Find out if these are leftover insurgents or new plants. Do your best to find out why they are here. And, of course, eliminate the threat."

"Yes sir," Brennan said.

There was a blip from the councilman's computer. "Well, it appears your supplies have finished loading. I expect you'll want to get on your way."

"Of course, sir," Brennan replied.

Kaidan looked from Councilman Anderson to Brennan. There was something going on and he could see that Brennan recognized it as well, but said nothing. Councilman Anderson had always been one to make himself available. He was very free with information, even if it was personal – at least for Brennan. This was probably the quickest conversation Kaidan had witnessed between Anderson and Shepard.

The three of them, along with their escort, left the apartment area and headed toward the rapid transit terminal.

"Did that seem odd to you?" Garrus asked, voicing what all three were thinking.

As the C-Sec guard was inputting their destination into the terminal, Brennan looked meaningfully at his back before responding, "I'm sure the Councilman is a busy man."

Garrus took the hint and did not say anything else about the odd experience.

The Normandy pulled out of the Citadel docking bay a short time later, and Brennan approached Kaidan and Joker at the helm.

"So, where to first?" Kaidan asked.

Brennan cleared her throat. "I have to take care of something on Amaterasu."

A brief and solemn silence settled between the three comrades before Kaidan said, "Joker."

"Aye, aye Captain." Generally, the Captain or Commander of the ship specified the destination by choosing it on the Galaxy Map, but the fine-tuned calibrations – those needed to ensure safe and accurate jumps between relays and in and out of FTL – were made by the pilot, in this case, Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, a.k.a. Joker.

Kaidan received status reports from all appropriate stations before heading to his quarters. Upon entering, he saw Brennan staring at the computer screen. She was leaning back in his chair and her arms were crossed over her chest. Leaning against the door frame, he watched her for a bit before speaking. Though she was staring at the screen, she made no attempt to interact with the computer and he wondered if she was really reading. "Brennan," he said gently.

She looked over at him, smiling sadly as she did. "Hey you."

"Hey," he responded. "How are you holding up?"

"Good," she answered, then she seemed to contemplate her answer. She shrugged. "Okay."

"She's going to feel empty without Wrex, Tali, and Liara," Kaidan offered. Brennan held Kaidan's gaze for a minute, and he was struck by the depth of emotion held in those crystal green eyes.

"I should go," Brennan said, standing suddenly.

Kaidan stepped forward and gently clasped her arms. "Where? There isn't anywhere else on this ship that you can be alone."

Brennan smiled slightly. He knew her so well – amazing, really considering they never did get to spend much time alone and had even spent three months apart. But then her mind traveled back to the reason she was seeking solitude. "This is stupid," she said, and stepped away from Kaidan. "It's not like I'm never going to see them again."

Kaidan offered her a half-smile. "It's not stupid; it's human. Remember – 'oceans, beautiful women, and this emotion called love.'"

Brennan laughed lightly in remembrance of the time she had said that while looking out at the view from the Wards.

"It just means you care."

"Hmm," Brennan intoned as she took a step toward Kaidan. "I thought soldiers weren't supposed to care."

"Ah," he said with a smile, closing the gap between them and wrapping his arms around her small waist. "On the contrary. Soldiers care too much. That's why we're willing to risk life and limb – to fight for what we believe in and defend those who can't defend themselves."

Brennan wrapped her own arms around Kaidan's neck. "Still the romantic, I see."

Kaidan leaned in and the two shared a kiss, slow and sweet – a comforting distraction from their destination. Comfort turned to desire and soon Kaidan had Brennan backed up to the wall behind her, one hand behind her head, cushioning it from the metal wall, the other still around her waist, pulling her toward him. Their hands explored and caressed each other, heightening their passion and desire with each gentle touch. They got lost in heat and sensation, racing heart and irregular breathing. Her hands sliding to Kaidan's sides, Brennan gripped the material of his shirt at either side preparing to lift.

"We've reached Amaterasu, Captain."

The two froze.

"I'm gonna kill him," Kaidan said, half to himself, as he and Brennan disengaged from each other. He looked at Brennan and saw she was blushing. For some reason, he found this endearing and smiled.

She held his gaze for a moment, before saying, "We should get ready."

"Right." The sadness was back in her eyes and they had arrived at their destination. All that was left now was to confront it and the guilt.

Kaidan and Shepard suited up and were just about to leave when Garrus approached.

"Excuse me, Shepard," Garrus said. "I would like to join you."

Shepard and Kaidan exchanged glances. "No, Garrus. Not this time," Brennan said kindly.

"But," Garrus spoke hesitantly, "I served with Gunnery Chief Williams. I'd like to offer my condolences to her family."

"Garrus, I understand your desire. It's a noble gesture. But…" Brennan looked to Kaidan for help. Kaidan was much better at diplomacy and tact than she was. But he remained silent. Sighing, Brennan continued. "I don't think you would be welcome."

"Oh. I understand, Shepard," Garrus said, managing to sound both hard and hurt at the same time. He had spent enough time around Williams to know she had an unfavorable disposition toward alien races. But time and side-by-side combat had a way of building camaraderie despite upbringing and misconceptions.

It always amazed Brennan how such a battle-hardened soldier could still remain so soft. It was one of the traits she loved about Garrus. She headed toward the airlock, but paused. Turning back to Garrus, she said, "I think Ash would have appreciated the gesture."

Garrus nodded his acknowledgement of the statement and walked away, presumably to his usual station by the Mako, and Brennan and Kaidan left the ship.

Brennan checked her omni-tool one more time to make sure she had the correct address. Glancing briefly at Kaidan, she squared her shoulders and knocked on the door.

A woman in her mid-sixties came to the door. "Yes?"

"Mrs. Williams?"

The woman took in Kaidan's Alliance uniform markings before turning her attention back to Brennan. "Yes."

"My name is Brennan Shepard, and this is Captain Kaidan Alenko. I was your daughter's commanding officer when she died… "

"When she was killed, you mean," Mrs. Williams corrected.

"I…"

"She was killed in action, yes?" The woman's tone was not harsh. She was simply proud of her daughter and the sacrifice she had made in the line of duty, and it was an insult to her to suggest that her daughter had simply died.

"Yes, ma'am."

Mrs. Williams eyed Brennan in a way that was a mixture of suspicion and curiosity. "Why are you here?"

Brennan smiled. It was clear to see where Ash had gotten her strong and straightforward personality. "She was a lot like you," Brennan offered, not answering the question. Mrs. Williams' demeanor softened slightly at the unexpected compliment. "I wanted to offer my condolences in person, as well as return a few of her personal belongings."

Mrs. Williams glanced at the case Shepard was carrying, then turned her body to the side, inviting the two visitors inside. "Alenko…" she said as they passed. "You were a lieutenant when my daughter served with you, yes?"

"Yes, ma'am," Kaidan said with a nod and a smile, surprised, not only that Ash had mentioned him, but that her mother would remember his name.

"We saw you on an extranet news feed."

Brennan laughed at this, remembering when Sarah, Ash's younger sister, had vid-mailed her and told her that she thought Kaidan was cute. Kaidan frowned questioningly at Brennan, who smiled and said, "I bet Sarah would like to meet you."

Mrs. Williams also laughed at this, making Kaidan blush. "Speaking of, Sarah should be home from school soon. I think she would really like to meet you both."

Brennan continued to smile, though, as Kaidan watched, he saw the strain it was causing. "I would like that," Brennan said. "What about her other sisters?"

"Oh, they're not here. Both had to return to University after…" Mrs. Williams voice trailed off and her gaze dropped. Looking up suddenly, she offered, "Would you like some coffee?"

"Please," Brennan affirmed.

The three adults stood in the kitchen making small talk for a few minutes, none really wanting to address the reason they had come.

"Mom," a voice called from the living room. "I'm home." A cute eighteen-year-old girl walked into the kitchen. She was clearly Ash's younger sister, with the same dark brown eyes and near-black hair, though she had a grace of stature and fluidity of movement that Ash never did. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we had…" Sarah's eyes suddenly got large. "You're Lieutenant Alenko! And… Commander Shepard?"

As Kaidan and Brennan shook hands with Sarah, Brennan couldn't help but smile and look teasingly at Kaidan.

"He's a Captain now," Mrs. Williams' said, with a tone that said she was getting as much enjoyment out of teasing her daughter as Brennan did Kaidan.

"Mom!" Sarah said, blushing crimson. Trying to divert attention, Sarah turned to Brennan. "First human Spectre. So what's that like?"

"It has its ups and downs."

"So… Why are you here?" Sarah asked, mirroring her mother's earlier expression, without the suspicion.

Brennan smiled slightly at the similarities in family members. Never having known her own family, nor ever having met family members of others she had served with, she had never been privy to this type of observation before. "I wanted to offer my condolences in person, as well as return a few of Ash's personal belongings," she repeated for the teen.

Frowning, Sarah simply said, "Oh. Thank you."

There was more to it than that, truth be told, and Kaidan watched Brennan struggle with motivations and emotions he wasn't sure even she understood.

"Um," Shepard began. Lifting the case she was carrying onto the kitchen table, she opened it and removed its contents one by one. She was surprised at how difficult it was to give up these things that didn't belong to her, but in her usual manner, the only indication of her emotional distress was a frown creasing her forehead. "This is Ash's rifle." Brennan laid the rifle, now encased in Plexiglas, gingerly on the table. "She was one of the finest marines I've ever served with." Reaching back into her case, she pulled out a Bible. "Her Bible. And…" She reached in one last time. "Her locket." She handed this directly to Sarah. "She never wore it on a mission for fear of losing it." Brennan closed the case and set it back on the floor. When she looked back up, there were tears in the eyes of Ash's mother and sister.

After a moment of silence, Kaidan asked, "Can we visit her memorial?"

Mrs. Williams nodded, but didn't look up. She was fingering her daughter's well worn Bible. Sarah wrapped her arm around her mother and squeezed gently. Then she said, "I'll take them."

Brennan and Kaidan followed Sarah out the back door to a small garden set back a ways from the house. The garden was fenced off from the rest of the yard by a small white picket fence and the entrance was a white wooden archway, entwined with vines of ivy. A short path led to a bench which faced a stone dais with two names carved into it – Ashley Williams and Joseph Williams, her father. Her father had been given a burial in one of the military graveyards back on earth. The family had not rejected the idea since it was an unexpected honor, due to their family history. Instead, the family put up the small monument – one they could visit whenever they wanted. Since Ash's body could not be recovered, Mrs. Williams decided to add her name to the monument and keep the family together. The garden was obviously well tended and there were signs it was visited often.

The three stood quietly before the stone, each one lost in thought or memory.

Kaidan broke the silence. "I… would not be alive, if not for your sister's sacrifice." He turned to look at Sarah, "And yours. Thank you."

A tear ran silently down the teen's face. She quickly wiped it away and nodded.

Shepard stood very still. Try as she might, she couldn't think of a single thing to say. What could she say? I'm sorry I chose to leave your sister without backup. I'm sorry, I chose to save Kaidan instead. She wasn't. Not really. She firmly believed that she had made the right decision. Any commander, when asked who would you save, a lieutenant or a gunnery chief, would know the proper answer is your lieutenant. Officers simply come before NCO's in the pecking order. But that's not something she could really say to the sister left behind. So she stood in stoic silence and hoped that her gesture today would give the family some peace, even if she couldn't find any.

With nothing left to say, Kaidan and Sarah turned to leave. After taking a few steps, they noticed that Shepard had not followed. In fact, she had activated her omni-tool and was pulling something up on the display. Standing at attention, Shepard began to read – her final farewell.

"It little profits that an idle king,  
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,  
Match'd with an aged wife, I mete and dole  
Unequal laws unto a savage race,  
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.

"I cannot rest from travel: I will drink  
Life to the lees: all times I have enjoyed  
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those  
That loved me, and alone…"

- - - - -

A/N – Sorry it has taken so long for me to finish this chapter. It seems I don't always write chronologically and a chapter popped out that you'll see later in the story before I was able to finish this one. Man this chapter was like pulling teeth. For those that don't know (and I wouldn't have known had I not looked it up and put it in here), the [beginning of the poem that Shepard reads at the end of the chapter is _Ulysses_ by Tennyson.

Continue to point out to me where I've made mistakes. I, for the life of me, could not find Ash's father's name. If anyone knows it, please let me know. Um… I'm posting another story, too, (for a different fandom), so I occasionally have to delete my documents to make room. I'm sad to say, I've already deleted the first 2 chapters (in the documents section), so I can't go back and edit them – as far as I know. But I do make adjustments to my original, and thus, I appreciate knowing where I've erred.

Thanks to all who have so kindly reviewed, added me to your alerts and favorites, and made inquiries about the story. You're awesome! Thanks for your patience. And of course thank you to my wonderful betas – Mom, hubby, and J.A. Carlton. Love.

Kathleen – Thank you much for your kind review. It is important to me that the characters remain true to canon, while realizing that all characters evolve as they gain experience, so thank you for that comment. Glad to hear I'm not the only traditionalist (liking Kaidan). :) Thanks again for the review.

Runningchameleon – Thank you, too, for the lovely review. Thanks for letting me know what line stuck out to you. I like hearing that kind of thing. Things that stand out to one person, don't necessarily stand out for someone else, and I always think it's interesting to hear what sticks out to whom. Thanks again for taking the time to review.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer – Usual

A/N – Boy – Ask and you shall receive! Thank you all very much for pointing out my flaws. Hee hee. Seriously, though. I have gone back and changed 'Kaiden' to 'Kaidan' and 'Terminus System' to 'Terminus Systems.' It was pointed out to me that it was a little confusing in the first chapter as to whether or not Tali had already returned to the Flotilla. Garrus heard that Tali was going back to the Flotilla and then she was gone, hence his assumption that she had returned home. Shepard mentions, later in the chapter, however, that she had not yet gone. Also, I realized (deciding it might be good to go back and read what I've 'established') that I had already stated the intention of having Tali return to head up the technical side of things. So I will be making a minor adjustment to chapter 4 regarding that. It will just be a change in conversation between Tali and Shepard. Sorry about the mess here. And this is why 'real' authors take notes of their own work – or so I've heard.

I hesitate to ask, but please do continue letting me know where I've made mistakes. Thank you.

Chapter 5

Shepard lay prone on the ground, in standard sniper position, and stared through the scope of her HMSR X sniper rifle as she overlooked the ledge she had carefully chosen for its vantage point. From here she could see the entire structure that the Geth had overtaken as well as their positions around the building.

There were two Geth Armatures guarding the front, along with five Troopers and two Shock Troopers. The Geth had scanners hardwired into their monitoring systems; but even at this relatively short distance, Shepard and her team were too far away to lock onto. This would not keep them safe for long. The Geth neural network allowed them to instantly know when a nearby Geth was under attack. That meant even silent kills weren't really silent, and the alarm would be immediately raised. It would also only take a few shots for the Geth to be able to triangulate Shepard's position.

To forestall a direct attack as long as possible, Shepard took Garrus' and Kaidan's sniper rifles and set them up at 15 meter intervals. This way, she could fire three rounds then move to the next position. In addition to moving, she had modified her rifle with a special silencer that Garrus had built for her. The concept was taken from the older earth rifles, since she had not come across any for the Specter guns in her travels. The silencer shortened the range of the rifle slightly, and she could not use heavy caliber rounds, but the armor piercing rounds should be enough. The silencer was not for the purpose of taking down the victim without alerting its allies, but rather to make it more difficult to locate the source of the shot.

In the meantime, Garrus and Kaidan were waiting at separate position with the Mako. Once the Geth were actively firing at Shepard, they were to fire the Mako's cannon to take out the Armatures.

In addition, the Turian Cabal, designated Charlie squad for this mission, and the Salarian infiltration team, designated Beta, were going to approach from the opposite direction. The Councilman wanted intel as to the nature and purpose of the base. They needed to determine if this was a left-over station from when Sovereign was leading the Geth, a new posting, or an independent group. When Shepard had taken on the Geth in the Armstrong Nebula, they had left a rather substantial information cache in their base on Solcrum. She hoped there would be a similar cache here that would give them the information they required. The Salarian team's priority was to retrieve that information before the Geth could dump it.

From what Shepard could see, the intel that Anderson provided was accurate. The base of operations was an old warehouse used when this planet was still part of a regular smuggling and slaver ring. The resources of the surrounding area had been exhausted and the smugglers had long since moved on, leaving the building in disrepair as it succumbed to the elements.

A layout of the warehouse had also been included on the disc. This provided useful information on possible ambush points, bottlenecks, and the entrance point the infiltration team would use. Since the warehouse had been used by slavers, an underground tunnel had been added to the facility as an escape route in case the base was ever discovered.

Shepard made some final adjustments to her position. She sighted all three of her first targets, making sure to note the clicks between each for quick reference. As she turned the sight on the top of her gun, Shepard felt relaxed for the first time in weeks – or as relaxed as one can be before heading into a firefight. During her mission to take down Saren, she found that she worked best with Kaidan and Garrus. Each of the other members of her team had their strengths, and there were times that she used more than a three-man unit, but when push came to shove, it was Kaidan and Garrus who went with her. So there was a familiarity with her current team and a confidence that they would react predictably to her commands and whatever they would encounter.

She was also back in the field. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy "civilization" or down-time, but she hadn't been able to experience much of that in her three months groundside. She had become a symbol and an icon. She made good on her promise to give Emily Wong exclusive rights to an interview. She had hoped that the paparazzi would leave her alone after that. The only problem was that now everyone knew who she was and there were very few places she could go where someone didn't approach her. She could handle the occasional fan; it was the people who wanted something from her that really got to her. And it seemed a lot of people wanted something. But now she was back where she belonged, where she was comfortable, doing something that really mattered.

She had started off her command career with grunts in the field. She had done exceptionally well with an assault rifle, though it was not her weapon of choice; in fact, she only used the assault rifle when she had no other choice, as she considered it loud and sloppy. She had requested training with a sniper rifle, as it was always prudent to have a sniper in one's unit, and found that she loved it. The sniper rifle was a precision instrument, nothing like the clumsy assault rifle. It challenged her - mentally and physically. It taught her self-control and patience. She learned to be aware of her body, breathing, even her heart rate. She had to be able to control and calm both her body and emotions, even in tense situations. And she proved she had an aptitude for the gun. Unfortunately, snipers were loners and, while she certainly didn't mind the solitude, she was not given a choice. She was on the fast track for command, and commanders were not snipers. But this training was not in vain as it later proved useful when she became aware of her biotic abilities.

She supposed it was odd to be most at peace right before firing her sniper rifle, forced peace though it was. The focus, concentration – the act of pushing aside any thoughts but her target – the hyperawareness that both elevated her and made her feel like a small part of something much bigger. This she loved. She pulled in a slow breath, released it through her nose and, in the pause before inhaling again, she squeezed the trigger. Without waiting to see the result of the shot, confident of her success, it took less than a second for her to find her second target. It had not moved from its initial position, though she could see by its posture that it was searching for her. Another breath, another pause, and another Geth lay dead on the ground.

Again, with a fluid movement, she found her third target. It started moving. They had locked onto her position, though she knew they could not see her. Leading her target ever so slightly to compensate for its movement, she squeezed off another round. Rolling onto her back, she lifted the rifle as she went and collapsed it into standby mode. Continuing to roll, she swung the rifle over her shoulder and secured it to her weapons rack. She hopped to a crouch and started running to her second gun. "Time to deliver the mail," she said over her comm as a signal for the Turian and Salarian teams to move. She could hear enemy rounds collide with the rock behind her and send bits of it in all directions. She had just started down the side of a small trench when a burst of white energy collided with the mountain behind her. While she was in no danger of a direct hit, the burst was enough to push her and she lost her footing. Leaning back to compensate, she let herself fall and slide down the embankment, like a baseball player sliding feet-first across home plate.

When she hit the bottom, she rolled forward, using her momentum to propel her to her target – her second gun. Landing just short, she army-crawled forward and immediately lined up her next shot. This rifle did not have the silencer attached. Now that the Geth were engaging her, secrecy was not as important, and the big guns could be called in. Seconds after her first shot rang out, she heard the cannon on the Mako fire. The sound of gunfire echoed, bouncing off of the surrounding mountains, and Shepard couldn't tell if the other squads were doing their job. She just had to trust they were.

"Lost shields," she heard one of the Turians report.

"Lay down suppression fire." She was pretty sure the second Turian to speak was Fahdrik, the highest ranking member of the squad. She made a note to herself to learn their voices.

After her third round with Garrus' sniper rifle, she rolled again, collapsing his gun as she moved, but not attaching it to her cache. Instead, it stayed in hand until she reached the third gun, where she then set it down, and again lined up the enemy in her sights. The sound of the Mako's cannon repeated at regular intervals, tearing down the Armature's defenses. It took five direct hits to take down one of those tanks, and she had only counted four so far.

"Shields at 50," Garrus reported.

She fired, taking down the last of the shock troopers, when something else caught her eye. Two Rocket Troopers and three Stalkers (or Ghosts, she never learned to differentiate between the two) emerged from the warehouse. Both created a problem. The Stalkers were quick and difficult to follow with a sniper rifle. She would have to get closer to take them out. The Rocket Troopers were slow and, though it took three shots with the rifle, they were much easier to kill. The problem was that the Mako would not be able to withstand two Armatures and two Rocket Troopers. While the Mako could "dodge" enemy fire, to a degree, it was bound to take a beating if four heavy weapons were targeting it.

"Rockets, incoming," Shepard warned.

Her warning was immediately followed by, "Armature down. Moving to position B." Garrus' efficient report was welcome news, but the Mako still had three guns to contend with and her shields were failing.

Shepard was able to take down one of the Rocket Troopers by the time she heard the Mako's cannons resume fire from its new position. She lined up the second Rocket Trooper and heard Fahdrik report, "The mail has been delivered." The Salarians were inside the base, which meant they had to press forward more quickly.

Shepard let off three quick rounds and ran to rendezvous with the Mako. As she did, she ordered, "Sit rep."

"Shields are at 30, but holding," Alenko reported.

Fahdrik spoke next, "We're under heavy fire. Looks like we succeeded in getting their attention."

Shepard smiled to herself. "No heroics. Just keep their attention. The cavalry's coming."

"Second Armature down," Garrus reported.

"I'm on my way."

When Shepard arrived at the Mako, Garrus opened the hatch for her. Kaidan sat in the driver's seat with the visual monitor jacked into his combat helmet. It provided a 360 view of the surrounding area. The Mako did not have windows, at least none that were useful for driving, so the visual display had been specially designed to appear on a helmet's visor. It provided a real-time visual as well as a HUD that showed information such as shield strength and destination markers. Settings could be changed with the push of a button to give topographical information, heat readings, and night vision.

"I'll take the guns, Garrus, you work on recovering our shields," Shepard commanded.

"I'm on it," Garrus replied.

Shepard sat in the raised gunnery seat and placed her face against the periscope. The seat swiveled with the gun, allowing her a 360 view of the area around the Mako and any potential targets. She focused on the warehouse, which was currently to the vehicle's right, and zoomed in. She quickly located the Stalkers and fired, alternating the cannon with the guns. The Mako traveled quickly over the gently rolling terrain of the foothills and made short order of any Geth caught outside. With the constant gunfire, no Geth strayed outside the warehouse to greet them.

Rolling to a stop before the front entrance, Shepard said, "Garrus, take the Mako around to Charlie squad. Leave it with them and catch up with us inside."

"Understood."

Kaidan and Shepard jogged to opposite sides of the warehouse door as Garrus drove off around the side of the building. It was one of those wide receiving and loading doors, easily large enough for the Mako to drive through. There were three such doors on this side of the warehouse and two on the opposite side of the building. At the far left corner of the building was the office and last line of defense for smugglers who were discovered.

It took Kaidan all of thirty seconds to hack into the door controls and force them open. Their combat sensors had already picked up at least fifteen Geth inside. They hoped to draw their fire and keep them away from the back office with its entrance to the escape tunnel that Beta team would be using. It was the most likely place for a mainframe and the only hot spot in the building.

Shepard and Kaidan used the walls of the warehouse as cover and discovered that the building was surprisingly sturdy, despite its derelict appearance. The fighting was intense, but they managed to push themselves into the warehouse, using old crates for cover. Shepard and Kaidan had become so familiar with fighting side-by-side, that they required very little communication to coordinate their attacks. They worked even more smoothly once Garrus arrived. Kaidan was to Shepard's left, and he'd just taken down the shields of the three Geth in front of them. Shepard extended her hand - palm up, fingers curled - holding onto the ball of energy forming there. She could feel the energy pull from the tips of her toes to the top of her head and flow to that one point above her hand. With a flick of her wrist, she released the ball, throwing the singularity field some ten meters in front of them. Five Geth and a few crates were lifted into the air and started bouncing off of each other. She waited until the gravity field pulled them inward, then chucked a grenade into the center of the mess, manually detonating it. The explosion fought with the unnatural gravity to literally tear apart the Geth, as they were subject to opposing forces.

A short burst from an assault rifle to her right had Shepard spinning on the spot. She located the two troopers at which Garrus was firing and was surprised at their close proximity. But he had them well under control, so she swapped her pistol for her sniper rifle and scanned the large room, looking for hidden troopers. Her search was rewarded as she spotted two Shock Troopers at the far corner of the warehouse. Taking careful aim, she fired two shots at the first and it fell. Giving her rifle a second to cool down, she located the other and took that one out as well.

In the meantime, both Garrus and Kaidan were firing their weapons on either side of her. She glanced around for a new assessment of their situation. There were so many Geth. More than she initially thought. It seemed that, though they had killed nearly a dozen, there were at least as many blips on her scanner as there had been initially. She moved forward and to her left, pushing further into the warehouse. She did not like having her back exposed to the open warehouse door and wanted to move to a more secure position. She could tell by the comm chatter that Charlie was closing in on the opposite door and she hoped to sandwich the Geth, also knowing that they would likely push back in her team's direction as opposed to facing the Mako's guns. Garrus and Kaidan automatically shadowed her as she moved inward.

There was a loud boom that shook the walls of the warehouse and the garage door on the opposite side of the building was blown inward, crushing two Geth as it landed. Charlie squad used the Mako to make an entrance for themselves and effectively crushed a few of the enemy as well. They drove the Mako through the door at an angle, blocking any potential escape route for the Geth, then exited the vehicle and joined in the firefight. The Mako's guns lost effectiveness at close range, and it wasn't worth the risk of hitting their own people. Additionally, the cannon could not be fired inside the building out of concern that it might collapse around them.

The Geth were successfully sandwiched and dying quickly.

Shepard stood, though still slightly crouched, and prepared to run to her next crate for cover. Something caught her attention – a vague feeling of danger – and, raising her biotic shield, which effectively fortified her Colossus X shield, she turned around. All she registered was red and a flash of bright light before she was sailing through the air and hit the wall behind her. She slid down the wall into a seated position and was having trouble breathing, but she was too incoherent to panic. Her head felt as if she was swimming and, when she turned it, her eyes lost the ability to focus. Neither could she hear anything but dull muffled sound and a high pitched ringing. But for the loss of sound, it was not unlike the sensation of being drunk, except that she instinctively knew something was very wrong. She was having trouble focusing and so she concentrated on simply breathing and trying to get her heart rate to slow. Sound came back in increments, though she still couldn't get her body to cooperate. She was surprisingly free of pain and vaguely wondered if that was really a good thing. She could hear Kaidan shouting, alternating between talking to her and talking over the comm, though trying to make out what he was saying meant she could no longer concentrate on breathing and heart rate, so she ignored him.

"Shepard, can you hear me?" he asked as he gently pulled off her helmet. It had cracked clean in two. "God, no." _Please let her be okay_, Kaidan prayed. "Shepard? Come on, babe," Kaidan said quietly as he held her head, trying to get her to focus on him. "Brennan, can you hear me?"

Shepard finally acknowledged him and nodded, but her response started a chain reaction. She heaved and began to slide sideways down the wall, but her cracked and broken ribs protested and she gasped, exacerbating the excruciating, crushing feeling in her chest that made her feel like she was trapped in an iron maiden. It hurt to curl up and it hurt too much not to. She hicced as a sob broke through her tough facade, but that caused her to cough, which dug the needles deeper into her chest, and she was pretty sure she felt her ribs rub together in a way that was entirely unnatural. With another involuntary cough, she felt a piercing pain on her right side and couldn't help the cry of pain that escaped. The vice on her chest tightened suddenly, forcing any remaining air from her lungs and she passed out.

Brennan's attempt to move to her next location had caught Kaidan's eye. He turned just in time to watch in horror as a Rocket Trooper stood up from behind a crate and fired, the rocket hitting her square in the chest, and the momentum propelling her into the wall behind her. For an instant, Kaidan stood in shock, sure she was dead. He held nothing back as he unleashed a biotic push that threw the trooper into a nearby support beam, breaking it with the force of the impact. He turned back to Shepard and relief flooded him when he saw her miraculously alive.

When Brennan first started coughing, Kaidan kept her on her side to keep her from choking. He saw the blood dribble out of her mouth and onto the floor, and before he could do anything more for her, she cried out and went very still. She looked deathly pale and he immediately searched for her pulse. As he counted beats, her pulse became increasingly weak and uneven.

Even unconscious, her breathing was shallow and rapid. Kaidan saw her armor was cracked and charred, but a cursory exam told him none of the pieces were stabbing her anywhere. Amazingly, her medical mod and shields were still working. He opted not to use any medigels. Medigels were applied topically as a salve, intended for use on external injuries, such as those caused by weapons fire, to dull pain and stop bleeding. They acted as a second skin and there was some absorption to help rebuild internal organs and tissues that had taken damage as well. One of the major ingredients was a local anesthetic. When absorbed through the skin, it worked as well as morphine, without the fuzzy side effects. Medigels made a soldier feel fighting-fit, even if he wasn't. But Shepard did not have any open wounds. This meant the medigel would do little for her except dull the pain. It also meant that, in order to apply it where her injuries were most severe, he would have to remove her armor. With her medical interface still operational, it was more beneficial for her to keep her armor on than to remove it. The medical interface could not rebuild broken bones, or fix punctured lungs, but it would provide stability and pain relief and boost her body's natural defenses to start the healing process at an incredible rate.

When Kaidan felt a hand on his arm and looked down into Brennan's now clear green eyes, he knew better than to think she was any where near okay. Oblivious to the battle waging around him, Kaidan used his flashlight to check for a concussion, but Shepard flinched and turned her head away. When Kaidan tried to turn her head back, she weakly batted at his hand. He could see she was looking at something and he took that as a good sign – at least she seemed more cogent now. A second later, she cursed under her breath and turned her head back, her eyes catching his with an intensity that was breathtaking.

"They're Geth," she breathed out. Knowing that Kaidan had not understood what she meant, she tried again. "Not crates. Geth."

Kaidan looked over to the nearest metal crate. It appeared deceptively rectangular, but he could make out the lines of limbs folded in on each other, as well as a torso. An inactive Geth was virtually impervious to damage from anything other than large weapons. While inactive, all their energy reserves went automatically to their shields. As such, it was strategically advantageous for some of the Geth to remain dormant until needed. But as more and more active synthetics were destroyed, fresh ones awoke to take their place.

Kaidan glanced at Garrus, who nodded to him. "Fall back," he commanded. "Everyone get out!" There was no way of knowing exactly how many Geth were in the building without tagging each crate to see what it was. They could have been out-numbered fifteen to one, or there might have been only a half dozen more.

"We're almost done. Just give us five more minutes." It was the first time a member of Beta squad had broken radio silence and Kaidan was glad that they seemed to understand the urgency of his command.

"You've got two." Kaidan and Garrus each grabbed Shepard under the armpits and dragged her behind a crate that was obviously not Geth. While firing his pistol, Kaidan hailed the cavalry. "Joker, we need immediate evac… And fire up the big guns."

"Aye, aye, Captain," Joker replied.

"And Joker, have Chakwas prep for a medical emergency."

There was a brief pause before Joker answered, "Understood."

Kaidan and Garrus took their time killing the remaining Geth. It was better to keep the ones they had at bay than to risk waking fully functioning, fully shielded ones that could be mere feet away from them.

"The information," Shepard said quietly, every syllable an effort. She was staring hard at Kaidan.

He glanced at the three Turians who had joined them sometime since Shepard had been hit. "Charlie, cover Beta's escape," Kaidan commanded.

"And leave you without cover?" Fahdrik asked between rifle bursts.

As if on cue, Lieutenant Kapena from Beta said, "We're under heavy fire. Our exit is blocked by about 15 Troopers and Ghosts."

Kaidan turned to Fahdrik, "Go. Take the Mako." When he didn't move, Kaidan continued, "The Council needs whatever information Beta was able to retrieve. Now move out!"

Fahdrik hesitated for just a moment more, his mandible flaps flaring slightly. "Yes, sir." The three-man cabal made their way quickly to the warehouse entrance where the Mako was parked and drove away.

Everything that Kaidan knew about medicine, which was enough to qualify him as a field medic, told him Shepard shouldn't be moved, but they didn't have a choice. They had to get out of there.

Kaidan heard a sound that was both a growl of exertion and a whimper of pain. He turned to see Shepard push herself to a seated position. With obvious effort, she rolled, shifting her weight to her left shoulder, and grabbed for her sniper rifle. Her eyes were closed in concentration and sweat covered her face, which was a mask of pain, and the simple act of raising her arm was almost enough to render her unconscious a second time, from pain and an inability to breathe in enough oxygen.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kaidan asked Brennan.

"I'm giving you… a chance…" she answered between shallow breaths. Her eyes were still closed as her other hand reached to retriever her pistol.

"No," Kaidan denied simply, knowing what she meant – what she had not spoken. "This is not your last stand. I won't leave you here."

Shepard somehow managed to raise her pistol and fire. Kaidan couldn't help but be impressed with her remarkable accuracy, despite being barely able to hold up her weapon. "Go," she yelled as best she could.

Kaidan dropped down next to her. "I'm not leaving you."

Brennan cracked. She was in too much pain and too close to passing out to put up much of a fight. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she begged, "Please! You can't… die."

Cradling her head in his hands, Kaidan said, "Neither can you. Now," he straightened up and took on an air of authority. "Are you going to fight me or them?"

Shepard took a few steadying breaths before nodding. "Help me up." Once Kaidan had his mind made up, she was not going to change it. She would be more successful fighting the Geth.

He wrapped her arm around his neck. She hissed in pain, but began curling her legs under her in preparation for standing. She rested her head against the side of his and nodded to signal she was ready. He tightened one hand on her wrist and, with the other, grabbed her belt. Using a small biotic boost, he lifted her with relative ease.

Kaidan met Garrus' gaze and the three started moving. Garrus provided cover fire to the front of the warehouse and lobbed the occasional grenade and tech mine. They stopped at brief intervals behind the few actual crates, support beams, and whatever else there was that could be used for cover.

Shepard never stopped fighting either. She was barely walking, with most of her weight supported by Kaidan, but she could still attack. Her arms were too leaden to lift while holding even her pistol, so she focused all of her concentration on biotic attacks with small movements and keeping the Geth at bay. She had an uncanny ability to know when they were being flanked and could keep the path clear for them.

Through sheer force of will they made it to the entrance and out into the open. Once outside, they took up positions behind nearby boulders. Shepard sat, unable to do anything more, while Garrus and Kaidan kept the Geth contained inside the building.

An explosion reverberated off the surrounding mountains and it appeared the back of the warehouse collapsed. Seconds later, the Mako drove around the side of the building and provided additional cover fire. The Salarians, who were riding the Mako's exterior, jumped off and took up positions that fortified the others. The Geth were pinned.

The familiar sound of the Normandy engines were heard overhead and Kaidan smiled in relief. He looked down to let Brennan know, but her eyes were closed and she looked for all the world as if she was peacefully sleeping. As the Normandy rained fire from the sky to annihilate their enemies, Kaidan shielded Brennan from flying debris and prayed they hadn't failed. He realized for the first time that he'd come to believe what the rest of the galaxy believed: if Brennan Shepard died, their last hope of survival died with her.

- - - - -

A/N – Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed. Thanks also to my wonderful betas who have been truly awesome in making this story what it could be; thanks Mom, hubby, and J.A. Carlton. Thanks also to all y'all who have read and pointed things out to me. It only makes the story that much better.

Em – Fellow KOTOR fan. Thank you very much for the lovely review. I'm glad you like romantic, squishy scenes. I hadn't originally thought that the story was going to focus quite so much on Kaidan and Shepard, but it's nice to know you don't mind. Thank you.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Kaidan did a quick survey of the loading bay, to make sure everyone was on board, before sealing the doors. Most of those who had been on the mission were being attended to by Alia for various minor injuries. The elevator had already taken Brennan to medical. As much as he wanted to go with her, it was crowded with people, the gurney, and portable lifesaving equipment. Plus, he reminded himself, he had duties to attend. "Everyone," Kaidan called, getting everyone's attention. "Debriefing in five."

As he waited for the elevator to return, Garrus came and stood next to him. Garrus waited in silence, though his mandible flaps moved from time to time, indicating agitation. "What is it, Garrus?" Kaidan asked.

"Are you sure you don't want to wait? It's just that this was Shepard's mission. Shouldn't she…"

"No," Kaidan cut Garrus off. Brennan had always taken time to explain to Garrus why she did things when he asked. The two had developed something of a mentorship. Despite Brennan's young age, she had wisdom and patience that were beyond her years. Kaidan did not have the same openness with Garrus, but in light of recent events, he decided to make an effort. "A debriefing will keep everyone focused a bit longer and, hopefully, ease the 'come-down' from the mission. After debriefing, everyone will have reports to write and file to their respective command. It will keep everyone busy."

"Ah," Garrus said with comprehension. "Too busy to worry."

Kaidan glanced at Garrus and nodded.

"Captain." Kaidan looked around and saw that the Asari named Alia was walking toward him. Her partner, Lwaxana T'Lang, had already gone upstairs as part of the medical team, even though that was not her assignment. Kaidan didn't reprimand her, however. He had read T'Lang's file and knew she was a very capable medic.

"Yes, Alia?"

The Asari smiled, Kaidan would have thought seductively, only this wasn't the proper setting for that kind of smile. "You've learned my name," she said, obviously pleasantly surprised. He simply stared at her and waited for her to continue. Becoming serious, she said, "I want to know why we were not invited to be part of the shore party."

Kaidan frowned, taken by surprise by her inquiry. Turning back to the elevator, he said, "This discussion will have to wait for another time."

"Look," Alia pressed on, "I'm not saying we could have changed the outcome…" Kaidan's head turned rapidly to face her, his seldom-seen temper flaring at the unspoken accusation so casually thrown out by the young Asari. She had the decency to lean away from Kaidan, as his anger was hard to miss. "But we've been doing this for longer than you've been alive. No offense."

"Really?" Kaidan asked challengingly. "You've fought Geth before?"

"Well no, I simply mean…"

"You've never fought Geth before," Kaidan stated this time. He waited for the Asari to shake her head "no" before continuing. "I have. Garrus here has," he said, indicating the nearby Turian with his thumb. "Shepard has. And we still didn't see this coming. I'm sure you're very talented, but I doubt you would have made much of a difference."

Undeterred, the maiden said, "That's because you haven't seen us in action." Her coy smile was back, and Kaidan was not impressed.

"I don't have time for this," Kaidan said, half to himself. "Look. Shepard picked the teams. If you've got an issue, take it up with her." The elevator door opened and he stepped inside, hitting the button that would take him up to the crews' quarters.

Unfortunately, Alia was not one to be so easily pushed aside, and she joined Kaidan and Garrus on the elevator. "I can't exactly take it up with her, now can I?" When Kaidan chose to ignore her, or at least not respond to her, she pressed on. "You're the captain. Surely she confided in you as to why she chose those teams."

With a heavy sigh, Kaidan turned to the young woman before him. He could feel the start of a migraine coming on and he was frankly surprised it hadn't started sooner. "Fine. She examined the files of the three teams and decided that their skills were more suited to the mission."

"How so?" Alia asked, not bothering to mask her offense at having been overlooked.

"The Cabal has experience in straight-up firefights and the Salarian team has experience in espionage and information gathering." The elevator opened onto the crews' quarters and Kaidan stepped out. "When she needs assassins or a bodyguard, she'll call you."

As he turned to walk away, he heard the Asari mutter, "Obviously she did need bodyguards."

Kaidan was about to turn around when Garrus clap him on the shoulder. It seemed like a good-natured gesture, but there was enough force behind it to keep him from turning. "I'll catch up with you in a minute, Captain. I'll make sure everyone finds their way."

Kaidan glanced back and nodded. He really didn't feel like dealing with the Asari who, in the course of two minutes, managed to push every button he had.

When the elevator door closed, Garrus, never bothering to look at Alia, said, "A word of warning. Humans are easily as loyal as Turians and as zealous as Hanar. Most of the human crew currently serving the Captain and Shepard were willing to mutiny to give Shepard a chance to fight for what she believed. You start making enemies on this ship, and you will find yourself with very few friends."

Though Garrus could tell his words had unsettled Alia, she defiantly, albeit quietly, said, "I'm not here to make friends."

"Then you have nothing to fear."

Five minutes later, everyone who had gone groundside was in the small conference room, along with both Alia and T'Lang.

Kaidan shook his head, but started the debriefing without commenting on their presence. He did notice that several times throughout the meeting, Alia appeared to want to say something or she reacted in some way to what had been said, but T'Lang kept her silent; something for which Kaidan was grateful, as well as impressed.

Just before calling an end to the debriefing, Kaidan asked, "Does anyone have anything else to add?"

"I have a status report on Shepard." T'Lang stepped forward.

Kaidan schooled his features and nodded, giving her the floor.

"I've asked Nurse Finnegan to keep me informed of Shepard's condition as the debriefing progressed. I will be heading back to medical to assist Dr. Chakwas when we are through here." T'Lang addressed the room as a whole, then turned her attention to Kaidan. "Your initial assessment was correct," she said with a nod of approval. "Shepard had several broken ribs, one of which punctured her right lung. In addition, her sternum was cracked, though it appears there is no lasting damage to her heart. Dr. Chakwas is currently performing emergency surgery to seal and re-inflate the lung."

T'Lang reported all of this with a calm professionalism that starkly contrasted with her younger partner. Despite the confidence in the Matron's voice, Kaidan's stomach dropped when she mentioned surgery, and he couldn't help but exchange a look of concern with Garrus. When he realized T'Lang was finished with her report, he simply said, "Thank you," and to the room at large he said, "Dismissed."

Joker's voice came over the comm. "Do you want me to patch the reports through to the Council, Captain?"

Kaidan shook his head, despite the fact that Joker couldn't see him. He would never figure out how Brennan had her reports done so quickly. "Not yet, Joker. I need more time. But patch through our allies' reports when they're ready."

An hour later, Kaidan was glancing over his report one last time when he heard a knock at his door. Thankful for the distraction and hopeful for news on Shepard's condition, he called, "Enter."

The door swished open and Garrus entered. "Bit dark in here."

"Yeah," Kaidan sighed wearily. He couldn't put off going to medical too much longer to get his headache taken care of, but he was avoiding it, not wanting to see what would face him there. Changing subjects, he asked, "Did you finish your report for the Council?" Kaidan wondered if he just took an inordinate amount of time to do paperwork.

"No," Garrus said, and Kaidan had the distinct impression he was smiling. "I figure Shepard would have sent the same report to the Alliance and the Council, so I'll let you handle that."

Kaidan smirked. "You're much sneakier than people give you credit for."

Garrus laughed, which, with his layered voice, always sounded somewhat ominous to Kaidan. "I've never enjoyed writing reports."

"Hmm," Kaidan said, looking at his one last time before deciding it was as good as it was going to get. "Can I help you with something?"

"Joker wanted to speak with you."

"Oh?" Kaidan quirked his eyebrow questioningly at Garrus.

"He patched through a private message for our Asari companions. It had the same signature that the Council used a while back when they 'unofficially' contacted Shepard about Virmire."

"Why would the Council want to speak with them? They weren't even on the shore party," Kaidan asked, remembering the warning that Anderson had given them along with the intel on the Geth base.

"Or perhaps just one member of the Council. Joker took the liberty of recording the message."

Kaidan nodded, grateful for Joker's questionable practices for once. "Let's go."

As he and Garrus headed to the bridge, he thought about what Anderson had said. He had warned that suspicion and paranoia, while common in the political arena, seemed to be reaching new heights. Because of the indoctrination process, and the Reaper habit of using indoctrinated people to infiltrate colonies unaware and pave the way for Reaper conquest, mistrust was growing, even among the usually unified Council.

"What have you got for me?" Kaidan asked Joker.

"It appears someone working for the Asari Councilwoman contacted our on-loan commandos for a status report. They heard about Shepard's condition from the other reports sent."

"Information sharing or interception?" Garrus asked, voicing what Kaidan had been wondering, too.

"You say 'tomato,' I say 'to-mah-to,'" Joker snarked.

"What else?" Kaidan asked.

"Well, apparently the Asari Councilwoman is not happy with her 'diplomats.' From what I gathered from the conversation, they were assigned specifically to act as shadows for Shepard."

"'Shadows'? As in 'bodyguards' or to keep tabs on her?" Kaidan did not like how things were shaping up. It was bad enough having the fate of the galaxy resting on them, but to have their few securities eaten away by mistrust wasn't going to make things any easier.

"Your guess is as good as mine, Captain." Joker's comment elicited a scowl from Kaidan. "Sorry, sir. Any word?... You know…" he asked with genuine interest.

"No. I'm heading there now. Uh… send the conversation to my omni-tool. I'll review it later with Shepard. Garrus?"

"Go ahead, sir. I've got work to do on the Mako," Garrus answered.

Kaidan doubted that, but he appreciated the sentiment. With a final nod to Garrus and Joker, he turned and headed toward medical.

Kaidan had just passed the mess, when the door to medical opened and T'Lang walked out.

"Captain," she greeted. "I was just coming to get you. We are finished. Shepard is awake. I'll let Dr. Chakwas give you the full report."

"Thank you, T'Lang." Kaidan offered a tight smile. He was thankful; he just didn't know what he'd be walking in on. As he started to walk away, T'Lang gently grabbed his bicep. "She's fine. Honest," she reassured. Kaidan nodded, thankful for the additional reassurance, but he wouldn't be satisfied until seeing her condition for himself.

Entering medical and seeing Brennan awake and sitting up was like a gust of air that blew away the weight of worry and doubt that the universe might never be all right again. Dr. Chakwas was performing an evaluation – testing how much air Shepard was able to draw in, how high she could lift her arms, etc., but Kaidan caught Brennan's eye over the doctor's shoulder, and he saw her smile.

"I'm almost through, Captain," Dr. Chakwas said over her shoulder

"I'm not here to rush you, Doc," Kaidan replied, as he headed toward the cabinet where she usually kept his migraine medication.

"Well, at least one of you isn't," Chakwas said in a chastising tone.

Kaidan couldn't see the older woman's face, but he guessed she was glaring at Brennan, who smiled back serenely. He shook his head and laughed to himself. It was amazing how quickly everything righted itself.

The two ladies exchanged quiet words and Brennan nodded to the doctor. Chakwas finally turned from her patient. Kaidan did a double-take when he saw, on whatever skin Brennan's tank-top wasn't covering, the deep purple, blue, and red bruise that seemed to spread across her entire chest. "She needs rest. Humpty Dumpty's back together," she said in her dry, British tone. "But the gels need time to work. Nothing strenuous for at least 48 hours." Turning back to her patient, she said, "I want to see you at least once a day for the next three days. And you'll need those pain killers I gave you. They work by suppressing your nerve impulses. It has very little side-effects in a normal person, but it will throw off your biotics for a bit."

"Understood," Brennan answered. Neither she nor Kaidan took issue with the doctor's use of the word "normal," knowing that she meant it in a strictly scientific sense of the word.

The stern doctor turned back to Kaidan. "She's too thickheaded to listen to me; so I expect you to keep her out of action. And don't let her fool you. She's in a lot of pain – or would be without meds."

Kaidan half-smiled when Brennan shifted uncomfortably under the doctor's scrutiny and revelations of her weaknesses. Chuckling quietly to himself, Kaidan responded, "Yes, ma'am."

Doctor Chakwas glared at both her patient and the man she expected to watch over her. Turning her attention to Kaidan, she asked, "Migraine?" He nodded in response and showed her the pills he'd grabbed so she could log them. "Very well. I'll be finishing up my report," she said, and moved to her desk.

Brennan slid herself off of the examination table on which she had been sitting, her bare feet landing silently on the cold floor. Kaidan noticed the care she took not to jar herself on landing. She reached for her blue-grey blouse, reminiscent of the uniform she wore as commander, and slipped her arms through the sleeves. She grimaced as she reached with her right hand to pull the blouse over her left shoulder; then repeating the action, including the grimace, when she pulled the blouse over right shoulder. She left the buttoning for later, not wanting to raise her hands again so soon.

Grabbing her pants, she held them out in front of her and seemed to contemplate what to do next. She started to bend over, but a dull ache and ominous popping sound stopped her and she straightened. Glancing up at Kaidan, she saw he was grinning at her. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Brennan accused.

Kaidan laughed. "The mighty and invincible Commander Shepard, who took down nearly a thousand Geth single- handedly, armed with only a pistol and her wits, is having trouble getting dressed. Yes. Yes, I am. Just a little," he acknowledged, then stepped forward and reached for her pants. He knelt down and held open one leg at a time for her to step into as she leaned on his shoulder.

Brennan sighed. "This is ridiculous."

Kaidan just continued grinning as he pulled her pants up for her and ended up standing inches from her. As he fastened the clasp at her waist he said in a near whisper, "I much prefer unfastening."

"That counts as strenuous activity," Dr. Chakwas' dry voice cut in embarrassingly, causing both Kaidan and Brennan to blush, though she remained hunched over her terminal, finishing her report.

Kaidan took a hasty step back and Brennan said, "I can manage from here." Neither could keep from grinning.

When she finished dressing, she leaned against the examination table. Kaidan took her hands in his and studied her face closely. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and let his fingers trail through to its end. His expression changing from admiration to intensely serious, he said, "I'm just glad you're alive. You've got to stop doing this, you know."

Brennan frowned. "Doing what?"

Kaidan turned so he was leaning against the table, their shoulders brushing. "I thought I lost you… again. It scared me." He put his arm around her, though his hand rested on the table. He was half afraid to touch her, out of fear of causing her undue pain. When Brennan looked to the ground and smiled, he continued, "Seriously, I think my heart stopped."

Brennan put a hand to her chest and donned an uncomfortable expression. "Yeah. Mine too," she said with a chuckle.

"Not funny."

"Oh come on," she said smirking. "It was – a little." She playfully nudged him, then leaned into him, fitting herself comfortably in the crook of his shoulder. After a brief pause, she said, "So… hit me."

"What?" Kaidan asked, confused.

"SitRep."

Kaidan rolled his eyes. "You're insane."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Time's a-wastin'." Shepard's tone was jovial enough, but it left little room to argue, either.

Kaidan uploaded the reports to Shepard's omni-tool and ran through a bare-bones version of what had taken place since their return to the ship.

"Huh," Shepard grunted as she read through the Salarian report.

"What is it?"

"Maybe nothing. Have Joker set a course for Feros," Shepard answered as she continued to scan the report. After a moment, she lowered her arm and looked thoughtfully ahead of her at some space on the floor. "Do you remember the orb that the Geth seemed to be worshipping on Feros? Or… maybe it was some kind of altar or something…"

"Yeah. Strange behavior for machines. I really don't get their concept of religion."

"Well, we saw another one of those before we ever went to Feros. It didn't dawn on me until now. Do you remember? It was in that mine that was full of husks. According to their records, some scientists or archeologists or something had unearthed what they called an 'alien relic.' By the time we got there, they were all husks."

"Yeah, right… On, uh… Trebin in the Antaeus system."

"Right." Brennan paused and looked approvingly at Kaidan. "Good memory. We had never seen anything like that before. But the same orb that was on that planet was also on Feros. According to the Salarian report, there was one here, too. I want to get a closer look at one of those, maybe see if Tali can make something out of it."

Kaidan stood up to go. "I'll go set our course. Listen," Kaidan turned to face Brennan. "We're going to have to deal with what Anderson warned about… eventually."

Brennan sighed and shifted uncomfortably, putting a hand to her ribs. "Not yet. Let's see if we can build trust first."

"And the Asari?"

Brennan closed her eyes and leaned forward slightly. After a moment, she said, "I think we can trust them."

Kaidan reached out and touched Brennan's shoulder, a concerned look on his face. She opened her eyes and smiled, a silent conversation passed between the two of them before Kaidan said, "I hope you're right."

Upon arriving at Feros, Kaidan ordered the crew to take shore leave in shifts. The Normandy would be spending twenty-four to forty-eight hours there, but he wanted to ensure a skeleton crew always remained on board. Among the first of the crew to leave were the Asari, the Salarians, Joker, Garrus, Kaidan, and Shepard.

It had been months since Kaidan had last set eyes on the colony at Feros. A lot had changed. Most of the debris was cleared away and a small village market surrounded the landing port. It bustled with small-town activity, but was much less hurried than what you'd find on the Citadel or most cities on Earth, and there was a welcomeness to it. But the change that intrigued Kaidan the most was the one he saw in Brennan. On Ilos, Shepard had been all business, overseeing what was going on, receiving reports on the latest research, and ensuring the colony was well established and ready for isolation. On the Citadel, Brennan had been tense, obviously uncomfortable with the prospect of crowds of people pressing to meet their latest celebrity. On Feros, however, Brennan was calm – at ease. He supposed it could have been the medication that had mellowed her, but he watched her, intrigued nonetheless.

Those from the Normandy who had come ashore were pretty well spread out by now, save a few members. Shepard always had some kind of entourage that followed her wherever she went, that currently being Kaidan and Garrus, but Kaidan noticed the Asari staying close by as well, and it felt just a little awkward to him. Brennan was a woman whose purpose showed in everything from her carriage to her stride. But her usual brisk stride had slowed to a lackadaisical meandering as she made her way through the market, greeting people along the way, and making Kaidan feel more like a bodyguard than a co-combatant.

They were nearly on the other side of the market that would take them to where the colonists lived, when Brennan's posture changed and she broke into a smile. Kaidan followed Shepard's gaze and saw Shiala approaching them in the graceful manner that belied her deadly commando training, but spoke volumes about her calm confidence as a Matron and a pillar of the young Feros community.

"Brennan," she greeted, grasping Shepard's hands and leaning forward to brush cheeks with the woman she had grown to respect, despite her lack of years. Many Asari, especially those well-trained by a Matriarch as respected as Benezia had been, found it difficult to truly respect anyone from such a short-lived species as humans, believing that wisdom and patience could only come from centuries of discipline and experience.

"Shiala," Brennan said with a smile.

Being perceptive was an Asari gift, and something in the way Brennan responded told Shiala that the woman was in pain. She examined her briefly at arm's length, then laid the palm of her hand gently against Brennan's sternum.

Brennan flushed, still not used to the Asari's lack of inhibitions regarding intimacy and personal space, and she was not a person who readily let people into her space-bubble. She quickly realized that, in addition to the heat of embarrassment or discomfort, there was also heat emanating from the Asari's hand. It was warm and soothing on Shepard's aching chest and she found she could breathe just a little easier.

"Better?" Shiala asked, after removing her hand.

Frowning slightly, Brennan answered, "Yes. Thank you."

Kaidan watched, curious about the exchange, knowing of Brennan's preference to keep people at arm's length, he wondered what the Asari had done to her.

Turning her attention from Brennan, Shiala looked over at Kaidan and smiled. "Captain Alenko," her smiling gaze shifted briefly to Brennan, then back to Kaidan. "Good to see you." She shook Kaidan's hand.

"You too, Shiala. Feros has come a long way," Kaidan glanced around briefly.

Shiala followed his eyes and glanced around, taking in how things had changed. "Yes they have," she said in a slightly guilt-laden voice. Turning to Garrus abruptly, she said, "And Mr. Vakarian. Welcome back. A Spectre now, I hear." She gave him a nod in greeting. Her eyes scanned behind Shepard and fell on the two Asari who were following. "T'Lang, Alia," she greeted tersely, and they stepped closer, having been acknowledged.

"Shiala," Alia spoke first. "Surprised to see you… alive."

Shiala ignored the younger of the two Asari and looked instead at T'Lang. "I see you haven't managed to teach her manners yet."

T'Lang twitched slightly, and she might have said something, but Shepard cut in. "T'Lang take Alia and get what we need from Ledra."

"But…" Alia started to protest.

"Of course," T'Lang said, and the two walked back into the heart of the market, though Alia went obviously begrudgingly.

After they walked away, Shepard turned back to Shiala. "You know them?"

Shiala sighed. "They were disciples of Matriarch Benezia for a time."

"So their file says. And they chose not to follow her when she joined Saren." Shiala nodded, confirming the information Brennan already had.

"I suppose I will be seen as a traitor by many for years to come," Shiala said sadly. Changing the subject, she asked, "So what brings you here?"

"The Geth left something behind. I want to see if I can retrieve it."

"Mm. Most of what was left behind has been moved to a temporary storage facility. ExoGeni has taken some of it to study as well, but I'm pretty sure we can get you into their research base."

Shepard smirked. "Jeong still in charge?"

Shiala smirked back. "He likes to think so, but Lizbeth will get you in, I'm sure."

"Good. Garrus, Alenko," Shepard turned to her teammates. "We'll scout the area, see if it was left. Hit the warehouses tomorrow."

"Understood," Garrus responded, more out of habit than anything.

Shepard spent a few more minutes strategizing with her team and Shiala before the trio headed for the garage. Shiala told them that they had managed to rebuild a few of their vehicles and needn't bother unloading the Mako, especially since the guns wouldn't be necessary. They could just use one of the colony's vehicles.

"I'm driving," Shepard announced when they arrived at the vehicle.

Kaidan and Garrus exchanged nervous glances before Kaidan stepped forward. Clearing his throat, he suggested, "Why don't I just drive."

Brennan frowned at Kaidan's suggestion. It took a few seconds for it to dawn on her what the problem was. Rolling her eyes, she said, "Oh honestly. You're not still blaming me for that malfunction."

"You flipped the vehicle," Kaidan said.

"It happens on rough terrain… and low gravity."

"And you jarred the sensor so badly the HUD was upside-down for a week," Garrus reminded her.

"Okay, now… see… That wasn't my fault. It was a fluke thing. I didn't even know that could happen," Brennan said, looking somewhat embarrassed. Half mumbling to herself, she added, "Besides you were the last one tinkering with the sensors."

Kaidan snickered at this. Neither he nor Garrus really had an issue with Shepard driving, but it was one of the few things for which they could consistently get a rise out of her. And boy did they milk it.

"Still, ma'am," Garrus pressed, and by the way his mandible flaps were moving, Kaidan suspected he was trying not to laugh. "It is a long way down if we were, to say…"

"Drive off the side of the bridge," Kaidan finished. "Besides, you really shouldn't be driving in your condition."

Brennan's gaze alternated between Kaidan and Garrus a few times before she threw up her arms in defeat. "Fine. But I get the comfy seat."

"Yes, ma'am," Garrus complied, though he wasn't really sure which seat Shepard considered "comfy."

The rest of their mission that evening was a bust. Not only did they not find the orb but, much to Garrus' disappointment, there was no action to speak of, either. The research facility had been speedily re-purposed by ExoGeni, presumably to bring more researchers there and use parts of the facility for housing, but Garrus suspected it was done more to clean up any evidence of the illegal research they had been conducting on the Thorian.

They returned to the colony proper to find many of the colonists had gotten together to throw a small-town party for the Normandy's crew, complete with food, music, and good-old homebrew, even for the Turians.

And with no one knowing when the next shore day would come, the crew of the Normandy took full advantage of the down time, with a few sleeping at the local hotel, a few making alternate arrangements, and only those few scheduled to do so, staying on the Normandy.

After a few hours of local color, Brennan slipped away to the solitude of one of the yet uninhabited Prothean spires. From this height, it was impossible to see the ground, but she didn't mind. Every time Brennan came back here, it felt a little more like home, and she had her suspicions as to why. She heard someone coming up the stairs behind her, but didn't turn to see who it was. She didn't need to... by the footfalls alone, she knew it was Shiala.

"You're watching the sunset alone? I would have thought a certain Captain would have jumped at the opportunity to spend a few romantic moments admiring the view with you." Shiala smiled, a playful twinkle in her eyes.

"He had to return to the ship. Duty calls," Shepard responded. She wasn't upset by Kaidan's decision. In fact, she had a sneaky suspicion his decision had to do with her own desire to be alone. He always was good at reading her moods and accommodating them.

"It's breathtaking, isn't it?" Shiala asked, coming to stand next to Brennan. "If I close my eyes, I can almost imagine what it must have looked like."

"Almost?" Brennan asked, just a hint of bitterness in her voice. Sometimes she felt okay with the knowledge that had been dumped into her head. Other times, she felt as if her head was getting just a little too crowded for her comfort. Tonight was one of those nights.

Shiala turned to examine her friend, but waited patiently for Brennan to explain.

Turning to lean against the window ledge, while still facing Shiala, Brennan asked, "Can you almost imagine it, or do you remember what it looked like?"

Shiala frowned slightly at this question and its implications. "That's impossible – to remember."

"Is it?" Brennan asked quietly, averting her eyes back to the view of clouds, pierced every so often by spires. "I'm having dreams – or memories really. Memories of life here. Of the attack…"

"It's probably just… intuition. You're piecing together your own experience with racial knowledge…"

"I saw a mother kill her daughter to prevent her from becoming a husk," Brennan interrupted, her voice rising with the need for Shiala to understand what was happening. If anyone could, it would be her. Brennan stepped away from the window, effectively turning her back on Shiala. She purposely avoided mentioning that she experienced the memory first hand. "You can't tell me that's just intuition and an active imagination." Taking a calming breath, she added, "Besides, Liara seems to think it was an actual memory. That somehow the Cipher was derived from the Thorian seeding Protheans when they were living on this planet, similar to what it did with this colony."

Shiala contemplated this information for a bit. "Perhaps," she said thoughtfully. "Humans and Asari are different. It would make sense that we would process information differently."

"But you don't remember…?" Brennan probed.

Shiala's eyes unfocused as she looked inward to examine herself. "No," she answered simply. "But… that doesn't surprise me."

Brennan spocked an eyebrow at her and waited for her to explain.

"We are not telepaths – or empaths – in the truest sense of the words. On occasion, when a joining is… particularly intense… a connection can be forged with our partner, granting something similar to empathy, but it's really just an awareness. We don't literally feel our partner's emotions. Rather, we observe the nuances of body language and tone of voice that allows us to infer our partner's moods, and then we can empathize based on that. I can feel sad for you when you are sad without feeling your sadness. So, though I have in me all of the knowledge the Thorian possessed from years of observation and, apparently, seeding the Protheans, I'm not built for direct memory. I naturally shut it out; but that doesn't mean it wasn't stored somewhere to pass on to you."

"But humans aren't telepaths, either," Brennan argued. "Technically, we're not even natural biotics…"

"Which makes your potential unlimited."

"Mm," Brennan frowned. "I don't think that's a comforting thought."

Shiala laughed lightly. "If you want comfort, perhaps it is not me with whom you should be speaking."

Brennan caught Shiala's gaze, then returned to her post, staring out the window. "I can't," she said quietly. "Not about this."

"Why not? I think you'd be surprised at what he can handle."

"You didn't see the way he looked at me on… when he first found out."

"Mm maybe," Shiala shrugged. "But I've seen the way he looks at you now," she said, as she nudged Brennan with her arm. She wiggled her eyebrows at Brennan and the two burst out in giggles.

Still smiling, Brennan acquiesced, "Yeah, you're right."

"Come on," Shiala said, as she turned and headed toward the stairs. Shepard took one last look out the window and followed Shiala.

- - - - -

A/N - To those of you who miss our alien friends, have no fear. Wrex and Tali will be back in the next chapter(s). Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. I encourage y'all to continue to keep me honest and point out where I have erred. Thanks to my wonderful betas - Mom, hubby, and J.A.Carlton (thanks for Nurse Finnegan and those few lines to help smooth the progression).


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer - Usual. I own nothing.

Chapter 7

As the supply ship landed at one of the few working ports left on Tuchanka, Wrex idly fingered his assault rifle, aching for something to blow away or bash – or better yet, bash repeatedly and then blow away. He hated this planet. It was cold and cloudy and toxic. Like the Krogan themselves, their home world was dead; it just didn't know it yet. He'd sworn to himself he would never return; he even told Shepard as much. But the weight he carried in his left hand bore with it an obligation. One he could not wait to be rid of.

He stepped onto the platform and did a quick survey of the area and saw two Krogan approaching from the far exit, one walking slightly in front of the other.

"Urdnot Wrex," the one in front greeted. "You've got some nerve showing your face here."

"Adohe," Wrex greeted back. "I see you've managed to work yourself up to errand boy." His comment earned him a low chuckle from the Krogan standing behind Adohe. Wrex nodded to the other Krogan. "Mtavo. Why are you still here?"

Mtavo reached past Adohe to clasp forearms with Wrex in greeting. "I left. For a while. Heard you were out saving the galaxy. Got me feeling all nostalgic. Decided to come back for a visit. Then I heard you were coming back and I just knew I had to stay around for the reunion."

"I'm not back," Wrex growled. "Just taking care of some family business," he clarified, and began walking toward the door.

"Anything that gets you to set foot on this rock again has to be interesting," Mtavo said. He turned to walk next to Wrex. "So tell me about this little adventure of yours."

Wrex laughed dryly. "Death, mayhem, impossible odds. The only down side is that it was done with the Council's approval."

"And yet you survived," Adohe said coldly.

"Not all of us look forward to lying down on the battlefield, little one," Wrex said. At the look of indignation on Adohe's face he added, with a laugh, "Dying. Lying down and dying."

Mtavo chuckled. "There is no glorious death in battle, my brother. Just glorious killing." Mtavo glanced at the container Wrex was carrying. "So what brings you back, if it's not to revel in your stories of victory?"

Wrex shifted the weight of the case in his hands. "Family business."

"Here," Mtavo said, while gesturing to a large vehicle near the exit of the landing port.

Wrex watched as Adohe walked around to the driver's side and stepped into the open vehicle. He snorted as he said, "So you're a chauffeur, too, eh?"

"You should be honored that one of my position and standing with a warlord such as Urdnot Durok has come to escort you," Adohe said defensively. Unfortunately, this did nothing but increase Mtavo and Wrex's amusement of the situation.

Wrex took the back seat of the vehicle, placing his cargo next to him. He listened idly to the brothers in the front seat bicker as they drove to their destination. Wrex offered the occasional comment, until Adohe became so angry he nearly drove them off the road while attempting to pummel Mtavo in the seat next to him. But for most of the ride, Wrex stared out the windows of the ATV at the empty scenery around him. Every so often the remains of an ancient city rose from the landscape. Monuments of twisted metal and glass, dust and bone.

Tuchanka had always been a harsh planet, killing all but the most sturdy species – sturdy or specialized – and specialized was no good anywhere but here. But the Krogan had managed to survive and thrive, at least until they tried to kill each other with dirty nukes. Now the planet was even more deadly, forcing the Krogan to adapt. The nukes destroyed much of the technology they had managed to invent, and so they seemed backward to most other races. It was thanks to the Salarians, the Krogan had left their planet for the far reaches of space. Wrex supposed he should be thankful for that advancement, but then there was the whole genocide thing. The Salarians had given them that, too – after they'd lost their usefulness. It didn't really balance itself out in his head, and he decided they would have been better off without Salarian interference.

Where races got the idea that they could meddle in the development of others was beyond him. Perhaps it was inherent in every race to desire power – to feel like gods. And he had been witness to the end result of that – the Reapers. But, while he supposed the Krogan should feel no particular pride in their evolutionary boost by the Salarians, they were ever the opportunists and made the most of their "gift." Too much. Which was how it came back to bite them on the ass. He wondered vaguely if the Reapers had turned on their makers the way the Krogan had turned on theirs. Only the Reapers had won. He figured they deserved at least marginal respect for that.

Nature was interesting, though, in that she liked her balance. The Reapers were currently the largest predator out there, and easily the most dangerous. But sometimes it didn't take something larger to kill the beast, but something smaller – smaller and _en masse_, like the invisible, too small to be seen, virus that genetically mutated every Krogan, preventing them from breeding viable offspring, for the most part. That was the galaxy's only hope of survival – that all of the races could put aside their differences long enough to unite and overcome their foe. Wrex shook his head as he pondered this. Unlike Shepard, he didn't have much hope that this would happen. The Krogan couldn't stop fighting themselves. He'd seen this with his own eyes. He had little hope of the Krogan uniting. How much success could a coalition of multiple species have?

Lost in thought, Wrex had ceased to pay attention to his surroundings. He mentally shook himself and looked around. He blamed his inattention on the cold. It had a way of slowing everything down. He was surprised to find they were close to his grandfather's enclave. As they passed through the front gates of the village, Wrex noted the guards standing watch, and those on patrol with their varren pets. He supposed he should have been nervous. Really, there were any number of emotions he should have been feeling but, instead, he was indifferent.

Wrex had decided long ago that dwelling on his emotions was pointless. They were something to be cast off if he was going to survive. It wasn't that he never felt anything. He had been plenty agitated back on Virmire. He'd also learned to listen closely to what his gut was telling him, and it had saved his scaly hide on more than one occasion. But he wasn't going to dwell on things he couldn't change. Besides, it took quite a bit anymore to get Wrex's emotions going and, with the cold, he couldn't seem to muster the energy it required to feel anything but disconnectedness.

The emotions he did feel, he felt deeply. The humans had a saying: still waters run deep. And Wrex pretty much lived by that saying. To most, it made him seem as cold as his blood, but then again, few cared about the emotions of a Krogan anyway.

So he pushed inside what it did no good to dwell on. He didn't want to be here and that was as introspective as he was going to get. The fact was he had to be here. No use whining about it.

The ATV slowed to a stop outside the second set of gates, and they exited the vehicle. Adohe took the lead and walked imperially through the crowds and guards of the town. The town was strategically set up for defense against other raiding tribes. The highest part of the town was also its center. This was the Great Hall where the leader sat, surrounded by his most trusted warriors and advisors. Here he held court. A few of the most important officials lived within this most guarded circle, as did any breeding females. The next ring of the village was dedicated to the warriors, with the mead hall near the entrance, training grounds round the sides, and the barracks in back. Since the society was so built on warfare, there was little need for personal housing and land among the men. Whatever was needed was taken from those conquered. The only personal spoils were weapons and armor.

The next ring contained the markets and entertainment. There wasn't much that couldn't be found here. Krogans fought hard and played hard. After this, was the housing for the women and elderly. It was erroneously assumed that this was a "weak" ring. Far from it. The women were nearly as capable warriors as the men; but for their lack of size, they would have been just as formidable. Additionally, it was a recently developed mindset of the Krogan that, yes, they may be dying, but they would take out as many enemies as possible with them. Few warriors lived to become old enough to be considered unworthy of battles. Those that were weakened with age, longed to die in battle, killing as many enemies as possible. Needless to say, most enemy attacks never made it past this ring of defense.

The attacks that took place in the inner sanctum of the village came from within. Scheming and power-struggles were a way of life. And this, in Wrex's estimation, was the true weakness of the Krogan. In the past, their incredibly high birth and maturation rates replenished what they lost in the occasional squabble. They also had plenty of other enemies to fight – other clans, other predators, eventually other species such as the Rachni. But then they were 'civilized' and forced to submit. They no longer faced the constant threat of enemies and their aggression, conniving, and bloodlust turned inward. They were their own worst enemy. And that was why Wrex left. He wasn't going to let himself get killed, and he wasn't going to sit around and watch his people destroy themselves.

Yet, here he was, walking through the warrior's ring and heading to the inner sanctum of his grandfather's enclave. Mtavo took his leave and headed to a table to drink and chat up the locals. It was Wrex's fault that Mtavo wasn't welcome in the inner circle and he felt a pang of guilt about that, but it passed quickly – no use dwelling. Wrex watched as Adohe spoke with the guards of the inner door, no doubt telling them to announce his presence to those inside. With a final nod, the doors were opened and one of the guards preceded them into the Great Hall.

As Wrex passed the varren posted at the door, he held out his hand briefly to let them catch his scent, then patted the nearest on the head. Wrex smiled inwardly at the look of surprise on their handler's face, that they didn't growl in response to the newcomer.

From somewhere to Wrex's left, he heard, "Pax Adohe escorts our esteemed guest before the seat of the great Urdnot Durok."

Wrex chuckled when Adohe was called an escort, receiving the briefest of sideways glances from Adohe, who was much better at hiding his frustration in front of his peers than when alone with Wrex and his brother. Wrex knew the rules, however. He was not to speak until announced formally, despite the fact that every Krogan in the room knew who he was the instant they saw his red crest. It was an Urdnot family trait and one that spoke of a long and illustrious lineage.

Adohe approached Durok and bowed slightly. "Your grandson, Urdnot Wrex," he said, then drifted to the side, joining the circle of onlookers.

Durok was aged and bent, no doubt partly due to the enormous proportions of his hump. Scars were evident and proudly displayed, though his armor was pristine and obviously hadn't been used in battle – ever. "Grandson?" Durok asked, sounding too much for Wrex's comfort like an old man who was hard of hearing. "My grandson is dead. He died with my son," Durok stated with finality.

Wrex couldn't help but wonder why he even bothered coming back, but the weight he still carried made itself known as his fists tightened around the handle he'd almost forgotten he was carrying. Not bothering to show respect, Wrex half threw half slid the container in front of his grandfather. It spun once and landed perfectly positioned for the old man to reach down and open it. To Wrex's mild amusement, Durok's eyes grew large at both the audacity of the act and the potential threat to his life.

Immediately, two guards threw themselves in front of Durok, as if they expected the container to explode and they would be able to protect their beloved liege from bodily harm. When nothing happened, however, they glanced back at Durok. He motioned with his feeble hand for the box to be opened. One guard did so and seemed confused by the contents. To anyone who didn't know, the armor that lay within looked ancient, worn, and not even close to the standards of modern armor. Hardly a prize or offering for someone the likes of Durok. The guard tentatively held up the armor for Durok to inspect, half expecting him to fly off the handle in a rage at the insult.

Instead, once it registered in Durok's brain what was held before him, he stood abruptly, with a speed that surprised Wrex, and took a step toward the armor. He held out his hand and barely grazed the material, as if unsure that this wasn't a mirage that would disappear when he tried to make physical contact. But the armor remained, so Durok took hold of it, reverently, and began a careful inspection. When he was finished, he eyed Wrex suspiciously.

"What is it you have come for?" Durok asked.

"I made a promise," was all Wrex said in response.

After a few seconds, Durok began to laugh. It started as a low rumble, but grew in intensity and volume. A few of his sycophants joined in the laughter, but many of the more keen warriors watched carefully. Durok turned around and returned to his seat. He waved his hand and the guard that had opened the container stepped forward, retrieved the armor, and left with it, presumably to put it in Durok's private chambers.

Without a word, Wrex also turned and exited the chamber unhindered. He headed to the mead hall, where he grabbed a chair next to Mtavo and sat down. He motioned to the bartender for a pint.

"So that's it?" Mtavo asked, concentrating on his own mug rather than looking at Wrex.

Wrex shrugged. "What do you want me to do?"

Mtavo shook his head. "You were a great leader once." When Wrex did not reply, he pressed further, "Some of us would still follow you."

"We've gone down this path before. What makes you think it would be any different this time?" Wrex asked.

"Jarrod's not around anymore for one." At the mention of his father's name, Wrex let out a growl of irritation.

"Nothing's changed. The tribes are still killing each other. Hell, I've killed my share of Krogan over the last few months. It's just the way we are."

"There's a better way and you know it." A new voice inserted itself into their conversation.

Wrex looked up and couldn't help the smirk the spread across his face. "Stay out of this woman!" he replied.

"Hey! I'll say what I want and you'll listen," the female Krogan countered.

"And why's that?" Wrex asked.

With a thunk of mugs hitting the table, she answered, "Because I've got the ale." With a wink and a swish of her tail, she turned from Wrex and Mtavo and headed back to the bar.

Wrex watched as the only woman for whom he ever had feelings leaned over the bar and spoke briefly with the bartender before heading back to their table.

"Can I get you boys anything else?" Jedda asked, her hands resting on her ample hips.

Wrex's low chuckle rolled from his throat as he reached an arm out and wrapped it around her waist, pulling her to him. "Nothing your boss would approve of."

"Huh. I forgot what a sweet talker you are. It's a good thing I'm off later and just happen to be available." She smiled flirtatiously as her tail wrapped around Wrex's waist. Jedda took a good look him. Frowning slightly, she observed, "Looking a bit thin. I thought you were working with a big-shot Spectre. He not pay you well?"

Wrex glanced around the room, feeling slightly uncomfortable that this was common knowledge. He wondered what else she knew. "She," he corrected. "And she pays me just fine. What do you know?"

Waving a hand to indicate the room, she answered, "You know warriors and their love for a good story. I just heard you were out playin' hero. Again."

"Mm," Wrex intoned.

Mtavo leaned in and added what he'd heard. "Several were unhappy with your choice of sides – thought we should ally with Saren."

"Idiots," Jedda said scornfully.

"He made a convincing argument," Wrex shrugged.

"Don't tell me you actually thought about joining him," Mtavo asked in amazement. He remembered the last time Wrex had encountered the Turian Spectre.

Wrex leaned back in his chair. "For a second, yeah."

"So the rumors were true," Mtavo asked. He didn't need to say the word "cure" for Wrex to know what he meant. It was the only thing that could have given Wrex pause to even consider changing sides. His people still mattered to him more than he liked to let on.

Wrex thought hard about the answer. He took a swig from his pint and nodded. "Yes. But it came at a cost. They were all slaves – indoctrinated to do whatever Saren wanted."

"Damn Turians," Mtavo cursed.

"Yeah, Turians," Wrex agreed halfheartedly. His thoughts went to Garrus and he wondered what kind of trouble the runt was getting into without him.

Seeing the downcast faces, Jedda said, "Well, I'm glad to see you're back."

"I'm not back," Wrex stated simply. "Just…"

"Business," Jedda finished. She nodded her understanding, though her eyes spoke of her hurt. "Just here for business." She stood and moved her tail, using it to gather up the tray that had brought their drinks. "Well, my break's over. I'll catch you boys later," she said with a friendly smile, but one that didn't quite reach her eyes.

The men watched her go in silence. A minute later, Mtavo asked, "So when are you leaving?"

"I'm looking for a job. Thought I might get some leads here."

"Anything in particular?"

Wrex scanned the room. "Something in the Attican Traverse."

Mtavo couldn't keep the curiosity out of his voice when he asked, "Looking to have a run-in with Batarians?"

"I have a business proposition for them," Wrex responded.

Mtavo laughed incredulously. "This I've got to hear. You were just working for a Spectre – a human Spectre. What's your interest with the Batarians?"

Wrex leaned in to make sure that only Mtavo would hear him. "I need to find a contact in the Terminus Systems."

Mtavo leaned back and studied his old friend. Convinced that Wrex was being sincere, he leaned back in and whispered, "Are you out of your mind?"

Deciding not to divulge more information than he had, he changed subjects abruptly. "How many do you think would be with us?"

"'Us'?" Mtavo frowned, his thoughts racing as he tried to understand where that question had come from, though he did tend to lag behind when Wrex started planning. Wrex nodded to confirm he had returned to the topic of leading his people. Mtavo said, "Uh, well… Only a handful at first. But you get serious about this and we'll easily get more. The leadership is weak. The other tribes, what few that aren't scattered, are ready for change – a new direction. You saw how a few clans flocked to Saren's side. We need something to unite us. You give us that, and you'll easily win them." The more Mtavo spoke, the more energized he felt. The prospect of Wrex resuming his leadership of the tribes sparked new hope in the worn-out merc.

"What about Adohe?"

"He'd be an idiot to oppose you. Well, then again, this is Adohe." Mtavo sighed and shook his head. "He's been too long under Durok's tutelage."

Wrex grunted. "How's your armor?"

"Ready to be tested," Mtavo answered confidently.

Coming to a decision, Wrex finished off his ale in a long swig and stood from the table. "Let's go misbehave."

The two Krogan warriors headed toward the entrance of the Great Hall. As they did, they passed Jedda. Wrex took her by the hand, turning her from the direction she was headed. The three entered the Great Hall and the two standing guard at the door moved to stop them but Wrex stared them down. "I'd move if you want to live," he growled quietly.

"You can't take all of us," the younger of the two said and Wrex was satisfied to hear the nervousness in his voice.

"Maybe not. But you'll still be dead."

The two guards exchanged looks and seemed to decide it was better to move than be the first to die.

Jedda stayed near the doors, while Wrex and Mtavo proceeded toward Durok. Whispers followed in their wake. Most of the surrounding warriors had expected the challenge to come sooner. It was, after all, Wrex's right and the Krogan way.

"I have come for what's mine," Wrex announced to the hall but looked only at his grandfather.

The old Krogan seemed to think about this for a moment before the low rumble of his laughter could be heard rolling through the hall. Durok rose slowly from his seat and descended the two steps from his throne to the floor. "By what right do you challenge me?"

"Right of succession. Besides," Wrex finally glanced around, making sure to look pointedly at Adohe before returning his gaze to his grandfather, "You don't seem to have any other warriors with the guts to remove you."

Durok laughed again, his eyes sparkling. He had disowned his grandson for killing his son; but in truth, he could not have asked for a better death than to die in battle knowing an Urdnot was in charge of their future. "If you think you have it in you," Durok stated and, before anyone knew what was happening, Wrex was flying through the air and into one of the support beams.

Wrex had forgotten his grandfather was also Battle Master; it was where he had gotten his talents. But the old Krogan was weak, and Wrex's armor was made to protect against biotic attacks – not to mention he'd learned a trick or two while serving with Shepard. Wrex stood up and dusted himself off. He rolled his head, cracking his neck, then charged forward in typical Krogan fashion. He watched his grandfather power up for a warp attack. Wrex threw up his biotic barrier and absorbed the energy as it came to him. Durok had expected him to fall, or at least be stopped, and was unprepared when Wrex made contact – the charge throwing the old Krogan to the ground with a solid crunch. Before he could recover, Wrex straddled Durok and shoved the molecular blade, which he had unsheathed at the start of his charge, into his grandfather's neck. The battle was over in seconds.

Leaving his blade imbedded in Durok's thick hide, Wrex stood and stepped away from the corpse. He took a few steps toward the entrance to the Hall and Jedda joined him, walking at his side like a queen. He turned toward Mtavo and said, "I have business to take care of." He wrapped an arm around his woman, then continued speaking, "I leave you in charge of my affairs."

Adohe, who had been stunned into silence by the sudden turn of events, was jarred from his stupor by these words. "No!" he growled. "I am second in command."

Wrex put a hand on Mtavo's shoulder. Mtavo nodded his head, giving Wrex his leave. "I'll take care of it," he said, more for the benefit of the other warriors available.

No one would challenge Wrex. His history and reputation as a warrior commanded respect or, at the very least, fear. He was known to be a capable leader. Many present had even followed, or been willing to follow, him at one time or another. It was also known that Mtavo was his right-hand man. But Mtavo was not as highly regarded. Everyone knew he had not been present at the Crush that wiped out some of their best warriors over a century ago and most thought it had been due to cowardice, not knowing the real reason behind his absence. They did, however, know Adohe. They knew his skill in battle as well as his shrewd mind. None would interfere in this challenge.

Wrex left the Hall with full confidence of the outcome of the battle to take place. As he and Jedda walked toward their new residence, he heard the sound of clanging metal, the crunch of colliding armor, and the echo of gunfire.

"He'll be all right," Wrex assured Jedda, who kept glancing up at him in worry.

"And if he's not?"

"Then this will be the shortest coup in Krogan history."

Early the next morning, Wrex walked into the Great Hall. He figured Mtavo had won since no warriors came to kill him during the night. As expected, he saw Mtavo meeting with several of the top warriors in the enclave. When he saw Wrex approach, Mtavo broke away from the small group and sauntered over to Wrex to give a report.

After running through the preliminaries, Mtavo said, "I heard about a job that might interest you. It's in the Traverse – a slaver. He's been known to deal with Batarians." Mtavo handed Wrex a data disc with the information on it. As he did, Jedda walked up to them.

"You leavin' again?" she asked, pulling the fur around her shoulders a little tighter.

"Business," Wrex and Jedda said in unison.

"Saving your people isn't enough, eh?" she asked with a smirk.

"You know me. I don't believe in doing anything half-assed," Wrex responded. Turning his attention to Mtavo, he said, "Take care of her. And start gathering the tribes of our clan."

"Of course," Mtavo nodded.

Wrex offered him one last nod of farewell, then he walked Jedda toward the door of the Hall. "Listen," he began. "I trust Mtavo. He's a very good Krogan." The way he emphasized "Krogan," Jedda knew she was being asked to keep an eye on him.

She nodded, accepting responsibility for their people in Wrex's absence. It would be up to her to make sure Mtavo acted, not only in the best interest of the people, but also according to her husband's wishes.

"Good woman," Wrex said. He nuzzled her once, in a rare display of affection, before walking away, heading toward the port and the vessel that would take him to the Traverse.

- - - - -

A/N - Okay, first I'd like to apologize for how long it took me to get this out. I was really rather intimidated trying to write Wrex. He's such an awesome character and I didn't want to mess him up. Second, I don't think much is mentioned about the female of the species, so I took a little liberty with their appearance. Um... I think that's all I wanted to explain. Hope you enjoyed and hope nothing was off canon. As always, let me know where I've erred.

Thanks again for all of the wonderful reviews. You all have been so encouraging. Thank you! And thank you to my wonderful betas - Mom, hubby and J.A.Carlton. Love.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer – Usual

**A/N – I had the great pleasure of playing the ME extension "Bring Down the Sky." I realize that it takes place "during" the game;****however, "it fit so nice I decided to keep it." (For all you Princess Bride fans.) I am going to use it in my timeline. For those of you who have not played the extension, the sections that directly relate to it will be set apart using ME:SA (Mass Effect: Spoiler Alert – I know, so clever.). All you need to know is that Shepard and Kaidan have an argument about her methods during a particular mission and they gained a potential ally.**

Chapter 8

Tali took a deep breath as she stared out of the window on this new ship she would now call home. She had a private room, at least for now. It would be shared with her husband. The son of the captain of her new home was the same age as Tali, and was a good match to her politically, socially, and genetically. She was pleased with the choice, though the marriage would have to wait since he was still on his pilgrimage. As was tradition, the marriage had been arranged while she was away. This was done to prevent attachments from developing with a mate that was destined to end up on another ship. The engagement could still be called off, however, if the man brought back an insufficient gift. But that rarely happened. She actually felt sympathy for the man, as she had a suspicion that he had as much pressure on him to bring back something of value as she did. After all, it would not only look bad for him to bring back something less than stellar, but it would make his family look bad in light of their son's engagement to a child of one of the members of the Admiralty.

In the short time she had been back, she tried to discover his last known location so that she could contact him. Not only did she want to get to know him better, but she wanted him to be aware of, and approve of, her decision to leave the Migrant Fleet to help Shepard in her cause. Had he already returned from his pilgrimage, they would have been married within a day or two and she would have tried to convince him to come with her. However, not only had her time back been short, but it had been incredibly busy.

Everything that surrounded the pilgrimage was steeped in symbolism. Really, much of the traditions that the Quarians held were symbolic in one way or another, but this seemed particularly true of the pilgrimage. The Quarian left her ship of birth and embarked on the Pilgrimage. This journey was a rite of passage that proved not only that she was a responsible adult, but also that she was willing to lay aside her life for something bigger.

When the quest to find the Gift – some resource of value that would benefit Quarian society as a whole – was complete, the Quarian could return home. She then had to be accepted back into their society, only this time on a new ship. She would not set foot on her birth-ship again, unless later dealings dictated this, and as a further sign that she was now an adult and part of a new crew, her name was changed. She was no longer 'nar' – child of – but 'vas' – crew of.

But before she could give her gift and receive her new name, she had to complete the cleansing ceremony. This was more involved than the simple decontamination that occurred ever time she went through the Normandy's airlock. Everything she had was taken and sterilized. She also went through an embarrassingly thorough cleansing ritual which involved the elder women of the new ship on which she would be living. Tali supposed this complicated ritual arose from the very real need to make sure that all who returned to the flotilla were not carrying any diseases or contaminants that could easily wipe out an entire ship.

She was then symbolically cleansed from her time away from the Migrant Fleet. Any belongings she had acquired were divvied out to those who could best use them. Her armor and guns were handed over to the military and her omni-tool was given to the chief engineer of her ship. They were not an entirely socialist economy however and, should the need arise for her to leave the flotilla, her things would be returned to her. But it was just one more way of putting aside her childhood for the greater good of the society to which she was now responsible.

After the cleansing ceremony was the presentation ceremony, at which time her gift was publicly presented and, if it wasaccepted, she was declared publicly by her new name – Tali'Zorah Vas Tulia - and a feast was held in her honor. Her father was present and, under normal circumstances, it was likely the last time she'd see him face-to-face, though she doubted that would be the case for her.

All of this took place in a dizzying two-day time period that began as soon as she stepped foot on the Tulia. She thought it was ironic that, for all her time away from the flotilla, she never once considered not returning – until she arrived. There was just so much change all at once. It wasn't that she hadn't expected the changes, it was simply that the reality was different from the expectation. She knew that she had nothing to complain about. Her new ship was one of the more wealthy vessels, if a bit small, but nearly everyone had private quarters. Because they were small and well-equipped, they were able to take private contracts with non-Quarian firms. They specialized in mining rare and difficult-to-gather minerals, bringing in even greater revenue than the average ship their size.

These private contracts provided more opportunity to interact with other races and see more of the universe than she might otherwise have had the opportunity to do. For this she was also glad. She did not know how other Quarians returned from their pilgrimages to the near-isolationist mentality they had before.

As she stood by the observation window, Tali heard footsteps approach. She turned to face whoever was approaching, and smiled at the sight of her father coming up next to her. "Hello Father."

"How do you like your new home?" he asked, coming to stand beside her at the window. He slid an arm around her back and kissed her head lightly before withdrawing to stand "at ease."

Tali glanced around briefly. "It's nice. Quaint," she added, trying not to sound disapproving.

He frowned. "You don't like it?"

"It's just… different. I'm sure I will come to think of it as home in time."

"Hmm," he intoned. After a brief pause, he said, "I heard rumors that you had quite an adventure on your pilgrimage."

Tali laughed, somewhat nervously. Quarians were not known for being adventurers. Brave, yes. They had to be to gather resources from the varied sources they came across, not to mention the constant threat of run-ins with pirates and slavers whenever a ship was away from the flotilla. Their lives were lived very much in the here-and-now, with each day being a gift. But to go seeking encounters with dangerous species and unavoidable battles was not the Quarian way. Tali, on the other hand, had loved every second of it, perhaps due to her trust in the abilities of those around her and her somewhat naïve belief that good always triumphs. This did not mean, however, she was not pragmatic in her approach to adventure."We did have a few encounters."

"With Geth. Why, I wonder, did they finally venture beyond the Veil?" her father asked.

Tali studied her father's face. She wondered if he really had not heard about Sovereign and the Reapers or if he was waiting for her to confirm the rumors. "The Geth were following the will of a Reaper named Sovereign. They believe the Reapers to be the pinnacle of synthetic life."

"Indeed. And this… Reaper… this Sovereign. It led the Geth out of the veil?"

"With the help of a Turian named Saren," Tali answered.

"I see," her father said, and then became silent once more.

"There are more… coming," Tali ventured after a moment. She knew she would have to tell her captain, sooner or later, of her intent to leave,and she would need the Admiralty's permission to recruit a few engineers.

"Is that right?" he said.

Tali felt a tinge of frustration. It was sometimes difficult to tell when her father was taking her seriously and when he wasn't.

Turning to face his daughter, the Admiral said, "And what do you intend to do about it?"

Tali's stomach dropped in surprise and excitement. "I would like to go back. Rejoin the efforts to prevent the coming invasion or fight if we do not succeed."

"You wish to leave the Migrant Fleet? Your home? Why?"

Tali stared at her father in disbelief. Could he not understand the importance of what she wanted to help accomplish? "Because if we don't stop the Reapers, there will be no home for us. They will destroy us all."

"Why you? If this task is so important, why should I send you. You are barely more than a child? Should I not send older, wiser, more experienced engineers to aid in this," he gestured with his hand toward the window "this… inter-species effort?"

"I…" Tali had just assumed that she would be allowed to leave once she explained what was coming. She had not considered that others would go in her stead. She thought quickly of reasons why it should be she that goes. "I have seen a Reaper. That makes me more qualified than anyone here. I brought back the information on the Geth - surely a prize that earned me some respect here. I am familiar with the team that is trying to prevent their return… And… And I was invited to head the technology side of the research," she ended confidently.

The Admiral watched his daughter as she spoke and continued to watch her once she had become silent again. He had always been hard on her. He knew that. But he was proud of who she had become and hoped his wife was proud of them both. He sighed and looked down. He had not been prepared to lose her so soon. "I suppose I really have no choice then." He saw Tali's eyes light up, and he couldn't help but admire that spark of life and youthful enthusiasm. "We'll have to inform the captain."

"Thank you, Daddy," Tali said, and surprised her father with a hug. "I, um, do have to ask you something else."

"Yes?" he asked, cocking his head to the side questioningly.

"I know that we have engineers who are experts on alien technology and decryption. I would like to request that a few of them accompany me."

The Admiral stared hard at his daughter, taking a moment to think about the request. "I wish to meet with your contact to discuss a few things first. That would be Commander Shepard, yes?"

"Y-yes," Tali said, somewhat hesitantly, not sure why her father had not given her an answer. "Though she is no longer a Commander in the Alliance military."

"Come. We will speak with the captain. You can let this… Spectre know that you are ready to join her. Then you can tell me all about her."

Tali knew that the coming conversation was not idle curiosity, but information gathering. Her father was in full Admiral mode and Tali took that as a good sign. It meant her father knew of the seriousness of the situation and needed as much information as possible before approaching the Admiralty or the Conclave to request the reassignment of such important Quarians as engineers and technology experts.

**ME:SA begin **

Movement out of the corner of his eye caught Joker's attention and he turned his gaze to watch the small vid display showing the communications room. Shepard, Kaidan, and Garrus had just entered it for their debriefing. Joker figured an argument was coming. Shepard had been increasingly tense since they had left Feros a few days before. He wasn't sure if it was the orb that was now on board, or the lack of direction that was increasing her stress levels, but he knew it was bound to come to a head. Add to that a mission that hadn't run as smoothly as it should have… Oh yeah, an argument was in the making.

The mission on Asteroid X57 fell under Alliance jurisdiction and Kaidan had chosen to take Shepard and Garrus with him, which was smart, really. They were going into an unknown situation and that was the team that worked most comfortably together. But with the discovery of Batarian involvement, things suddenly changed. Shepard seized control of the mission and that's when things got weird.

Joker monitored communications on every mission that any shore party undertook. He needed to be able to warn them at a moment's notice when he picked up enemy chatter, and they needed to be able to contact him in case they needed an emergency evac. It was also official protocol. He acted as a sort of objective witness to the events in case anything was called into question by the brass. Because of his familiarity with each crew member – both their official, mission-related dialogue and theirtension-relieving banter – he would have put money on how the mission was going to end. He would have lost. And it stunned him into such silence that he couldn't even come up with a witty, end-of-mission, welcome home.

As he watched the vid-screen, his finger itched with the temptation to listen to the conversation that was taking place. He glanced around quickly before transferring the audio signal to his personal communicator.

Shepard stood leaning against the holo-comms with her arms crossed over her chest. Garrus had chosen the nearest seat on her left, though he felt more like an outsider watching what should have been a private conversation – not because it was "personal" but because it took place between two superior officers and he didn't feel he had a right to be witness to this.

"Do you remember that conversation we had about cutting corners?" Kaidan asked. He waited for some acknowledgement that Brennan knew what he was talking about, but she simply stared at him, so he plowed on anyway. "This is exactly what I was talking about!"

"What would you have had me do, Kaidan? Let him go?" Shepard asked, her voice remarkably calm, though to Kaidan, it sounded more devoid of emotion than truly at peace.

"We would have signaled the Fleet. Joker would have gotten the trace on his ship, which would have been passed on to the rest of our ships. We would have found him."

"Let him go. To save a handful of civilians." Shepard stated what was at the heart of the issue.

"Yes," Kaidan replied. "He wouldn't have gotten away. Even the Normandy could have tracked him down."

"You don't know that. How often have the Batarians escaped after raids?" Shepard stared firmly into Kaidan's eyes. "Besides, it wouldn't have been that simple. He was not about to just walk away."

"And you don't know that," Kaidan retorted.

Shepard smiled slightly and let out a soft chuckle. "I do," she said, in nearly a whisper.

"Well, I hope you were right because we losthalf a dozen good people back there - innocents."

Shepard sighed. "They were civilians. That speaks of neither their goodness nor theirinnocence."

"What?" Kaidan asked in disbelief. "Are you trying to justify…"

Before he could finish, Brennan held up her hand. "How many lives did we save?"

"The scales don't work that way, remember? You're the one who told me that."

"Fine. Look at it this way. We gained a potential ally in our fight against the Reapers. We need – and I cannot emphasize this enough – we _need_ every species out there. That means I am going to build bridges wherever possible. What do you think would have happened if Balak got away?"

"You mean if we didn't catch him?" Kaidan asked sharply.

Ignoring his question, Shepard continued, "The first thing he would do is find and kill Charn. We would have lost a potential ally."

"A _potential_ ally! We don't know that Charn will do anything to help us. You sacrificed humans to save a Batarian who _might_ be useful?"

Shepard surprised Kaidan by asking, "Do you know why I saved the Council? Do you know why I chose to sacrifice hundreds of human lives to save three pompous aliens who fought us every step of the way?" Shepard's voice rose slightly, filling with emotion.

"No," Kaidan said with a sigh, not sure he really wanted to know after today's events.

"Because we need them," she said, gesturing to Garrus without looking at him. "Without the Council, there would have been a power vacuum. I'm sure that we – humans – could have stepped in to fill that space, but for how long? The other species would have chaffed under our rule, unity would have dissolved, and we would have been lost. We might as well have let Sovereign open the relay and let the other Reapers waltz in and destroy everything. So yes! I absolutely will sacrifice humans for a chance at greater numbers sothat we can all survive in the end."

Kaidan nodded and looked away. He understood the argument. He understood the concept of "the greater good." It just didn't settle well with him to know that they could have saved lives – all of them. "The future is not set in stone. You cannot possibly know how this will affect things down the line. So you traded one 'what if' for another – a few lives for... what? A chance."

"It's all we have," Brennan said solemnly. "Besides, now the Alliance has a chance to find out who's behind this supposed 'rebellion'."

After a moment, Kaidan, out of arguments and slightly disarmed by Brennan's unusual bout of pessimism, sighed again and turned toward the door of the comm room. "Uh," he looked back over his shoulder. "Dismissed," he said with a wave of his hand and left.

Garrus stood and took a step closer to Brennan. He looked from the door to Brennan, who seemed lost in thought as she continued to stare at the now closed door. "If it's any consolation, Commander, I think you made the right decision. It's never good to start negotiating with terrorists. Plus, like you said, the information he could provide may prove invaluable."

Brennan's eyes focused on the floor before looking up at Garrus. "Thank you, Garrus," she said kindly, and then turned her gaze back to the door.

After a brief pause, Garrus added, "In time, he'll come to see it too."

Brennan glanced quickly at Garrus. "Oh, I hope not," she said, much to Garrus' surprise, then she too headed toward the door, leaving Garrus to contemplate all he had seen and heard.

Things had always been so simple before Garrus joined the crew of the Normandy. There was right and there was wrong. There was black and there waswhite. Sometimes what was right was barred by bureaucracy and red tape, and that's what had driven him to leave C-Sec in the first place. But since becoming part of the Normandy crew, his life had become filled with shades of grey. Humans seemed to live in the greys and he couldn't always understand them. It certainly didn't seem to make them any happier, just more… confused. And confusing. Garrus followed Shepard and Kaidan out of the comm room and headed to the garage. The Mako had taken some heavy weapons fire on the asteroid and he needed to make the necessary repairs.

**ME:SA end **

With the room now empty, Joker turned off the audio feed from the comm room. As he did, he noticed they'd received a message through the comm buoy. It was a Quarian signal and Joker ran it through the usual filters to make sure the signal was clean and original.

His personal comm device was now turned off, so the Normandy VI spoke to him to notify him that another signal was coming through. "Incoming message. Krogan signature."

"Ah, Wrex," Joker said to himself. "Thank you, Vi," he said to the VI, who never responded, as that was beyond her programming, but it amused him. Fiddling with a few buttons on the control panel, Joker said, "How's my favorite hunchback?"

"How's my favorite pain in the glass?" Wrex asked in return.

Joker smiled at the familiar line. Wrex, having once retorted that Joker was likea pane of glass due to his frail condition, had later thought it hilarious when he discovered that 'glass' and 'ass' rhymed and 'pane' and 'pain' sound the same in English. He then mixed the sayings to the delight of his twisted sense of humor. "Isn't it about time you come up with a new line? I mean, I at least try to be original."

"Well, not all of us can sit around all day and think of witty retorts."

"Oh," Joker gasped in pain, while trying not to laugh. "You wound me."

Wrex grunted. "That's not saying much. So, how's the family?" Wrex asked, mocking human etiquette.

"Mom and Dad are fighting again, but I'm sure they'll kiss and make-up soon."

"Was there violence?" Wrex asked eagerly, knowing what the answer would be.

"Pfft. Are you kidding? They both have a stick shoved so far up their…"

"I'd think very hard before you finish that statement," Kaidan's voice came from behind Joker and made him jump.

"Jeez, Captain. Try to sneak up a little more loudly next time," Joker said.

"And miss watching you try to get your foot out of your mouth without breaking anything?" Shepard asked, a smirk making an appearance on her too serious face.

"Did… Did you just make a joke, Commander?" Joker asked in stunned confusion.

"Very funny. Did I hear Wrex's dulcet tones?"

"Indeed you did. Wrex, Captain Alenko and Commander Shepard have arrived."

"How was Tuchanka?" Kaidan asked conversationally.

"Fun. There was a homecoming party and everything." Kaidan frowned at Wrex's response. He could never tell by the sound of Wrex's voice when the Krogan was joking – not that his facial expressions lent much in the way of deciphering that either.

"Where are you now?" Shepard asked in her business tone.

"Heading to the Attican Traverse."

"Good. I've got the name of a possible contact for you. Tread lightly. He should have a favorable response to my name."

"But he could just as easily kill me for mentioning you. I got it."

"I'll upload it to your omni-tool," Shepard said, neither confirming nor denying his assumption.

"Got it."

"Good to hear from you," Shepard said, for the first time expressing emotion toward the Krogan. "And Wrex?"

"Yea."

"Take care." Shepard began to walk away without waiting for a response, but Joker held up his finger to indicate she should wait.

"I got a message from Tali. Do you want me to send it back to the comm room?" Joker asked.

Brennan looked up at Kaidan as if she had asked a question and was waiting for a response. He nodded, so she looked back to Joker, "No, send it to the Captain's terminal."

"Right," Joker said with a slight drawl.

Shepard turned and left, but Kaidan leaned a little closer to Joker and the comm unit. "Be safe Wrex. And… that contact cost dearly, so use it wisely."

Wrex grunted again in response, but it was enough of an affirmative for Kaidan to walk away. He still wasn't sure why Brennan trusted a Krogan to act as diplomat but, he told himself, he trusted her judgment and that was enough, though he had to repeat that a few more times after today's events.

"Did I miss something?" Wrex asked after a few silent seconds.

"A mission got… complicated. I'll tell you all about itwhen I see you next," Joker said.

"Oh, hey. Tell Shepard I re-established my contact with the Shadow Broker. He bought the info I had to sell, no questions asked."

"Will do." Joker heard an unceremonious click telling him that the signal abruptly ended. That was okay with him. He was never one for good-byes. As soon as he was finished speaking with Wrex, he heard Shepard's voice in his ear.

"Joker, set up a connection with the Citadel – Councilman Anderson."

"Yes ma'am." Joker's fingers danced deftly over the console, bringing up a secure connection with Anderson's office before transferring it to Kaidan's quarters. A few minutes later, both the Captain and Shepard approached.

"New heading, Captain?" Joker asked.

"That's Ambassador Alenko, Joker," Shepard said with a smirk.

Joker spocked an eyebrow questioningly. "Ambassador, huh?... er, Sir."

"It's just a formality," Kaidan sighed. "As the commanding officer on this boat, I'm acting as Ambassador to our Quarian friends on behalf of the Alliance."

"Shiny," Joker stated simply. "Does that come with a pay raise? Because I can be very tactful when I want to be."

"We want to make friends, not start a war," Shepard quipped. "Besides, your facial hair might frighten them."

"You never know. They could be covered in hair from head to toe," Joker speculated. "No pressure Captain."

"Well, this is just a first contact type scenario. I won't be making any deals."

"Wow. So you're an ambassador with no authority."

"Yes. Thank you for pointing that out," Kaidan said in mild frustration.

At this, Brennan laughed. She placed her hand on Kaidan's arm and said, "Don't worry. You'll do fine." Turning to Joker, she said, "Call for a briefing in the communications room. I want to see our resident aliens as well as Chief Engineer Adams."

"You got it. Oh and, Commander," Joker waited for Shepard to give him her attention. "Wrex said he made contact with the Shadow Broker and sold the information."

"Good. Thank you, Joker," Shepard said.

Joker began keying in the communicator frequencies of each individual to be called to the meeting as Shepard walked away. "So… Did you two make up?"

Kaidan looked at Joker in surprise, but then realized he would know better than anyone else on the ship what was going on. He shrugged in response. "It's just a difference of opinion."

"Great generals know when it's necessary to make sacrifices," Joker stated.

"I know that. I just… wasn't prepared for it."

"Great generals are not always great people," Joker added.

"You think Shepard's not a good person?" Kaidan questioned.

"Oh no. I think she's a very good person. That just makes it harder… for her."

As he turned and headed toward the conference room, Kaidan exhaled heavily, contemplating what Joker had said. He knew what he was saying was true. If nothing else, it was evidenced in how Shepard inspired such incredible loyalty and the belief that she could get everyone out of any situation virtually unscathed. He also knew that she would sacrifice herself if she thought it would help them win. In a way, that's what she was doing. Sacrificing herself – her feelings, her clear conscience – for a chance at greater victory. Ash had been the first in what Kaidan realized would be a long line of difficult, even heartbreaking decisions for Shepard.

**ME:SA begin**

_"If Kate's face keeps me awake tonight so that your grandchildren are safe – so be it."_ That was what Brennan had told Simon Adwell when he complained that Shepard hadn't found a way to save everyone. Kaiden knew they weren't nameless, faceless casualties to Brennan. She had already made a personal connection with them and sacrificed them anyway. Maybe she was just stronger than he. And he knew it was selfish of him, but he was glad for it – glad it was her and not him. He knew there was a very real chance that, as a captain, he would one day have to make a call like that, but he hoped he never did. And as he walked toward the comm room, a realization hit him, making his step slow. Shepard had once again protected him. By taking control of the mission, she prevented him from having to make the call thatkilled civilians for a 'what if'.

**ME:SA end**

- - - - -

A/N – I hope the Quarian section was okay. I love Tali's character, but I found her very difficult to write. Sorry no real action in this chapter. Thank you to everyone who left a review. You've all been so encouraging. Thanks also to my wonderful betas – Mom, hubby, and J.A. Carlton. Love.

Mike – Thanks for your review. I'm glad that Wrex was in character. He's such a great character; I was concerned about not getting him right. Thanks again.

Row – Thank you, also, for your very kind words and for taking the time to comment. Thank you.


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